You know that feeling when you're just trying to get some work done, quietly minding your own business in the school library, or at your job, or sitting in a cafe with your laptop, and someone near you won't leave you be? Instead you keep getting interrupted? Maybe it's someone trying to talk to you. Or they're having a loud conversation on the phone, oblivious to how it's bothering everyone around them. Or a couple having a fight. In which case, you do the one thing you can do. Which pretend to ignore them but really try to catch every word because it's fucking hilarious and you're glad it's them, not you.
That's what blogging for Barstool is like this week.
But to hell with it. The show must go on. Even though I'm above the fray out here in Stately Thornton Manor on the white sand beaches of New England. Existing in my own safe little ecosystem. With no natural predators. Free to blog as much or as little as I please. But just trying to earn a crust in the pitiless world of posting Lowest Common Denominator drivel for mass entertainment. There are still things I care about more than enjoying a good fight that doesn't involve me. And one of those is still the phenomenon of stuff flying in our skies about which we know nothing. So even if I'm only talking to myself, here goes. I have bills to pay:
CTV News - Early on Jan. 19, several pilots reported "multiple lights sometimes in a triangle formation(opens in a new tab)" high above the Canadian Prairies.
"I had a company aircraft over Thunder Bay suggest, he thinks it possibly could be satellites," an air traffic controller in Winnipeg told aviators around 4:45 a.m. local time, according to audio obtained by CTVNews.ca.
"I'm certainly no expert, but they're moving side-to-side and then going away from each other and then forming triangles," an Air Canada pilot from Seattle to Winnipeg replied while flying over Saskatchewan. "That doesn't really seem like they're in any type of orbit. But I mean, I'm no expert."
"Yeah, it's quite bizarre," a pilot on a nearby Flair Airlines flight from Vancouver to Toronto added. "There's around six of them just randomly in formation flying at a high altitude at 12 o'clock."
"Definitely not satellites," a pilot on a Morningstar Air Express cargo flight from Calgary to Toronto interjected. "It's unlike anything I've ever seen in the 15 years of night flying that I've done." …
The 13-minute clip was culled from 2.5 hours of raw audio downloaded from two feeds at LiveATC.net …, a website that streams and archives air traffic control radio. Edited for length, the original conversations between pilots and air traffic controllers took place from approximately 4:20 a.m. to 6 a.m. CST.
"There's no active airspace, military airspace, anything like that we're aware of," an air traffic controller said on Jan. 19. "I honestly have no idea what that might be."
At least four aircraft reported seeing the lights that morning …They estimated the lights were well above them, as high as 100,000 feet (30,480 metres), which is beyond the reach of most fighter jets. Two other crews also chimed in to say they've recently had similar sightings over Canada.
"I haven't seen them tonight, but we've been seeing those lights for probably the last 18 months or so, just for your information," a pilot on a Cargojet flight from Hamilton, Ont., to Winnipeg reported.
As we get further and further into a period of time that was supposed to be all about disclosure from our governments but has been anything but, a lot of UFO believers have become increasingly convinced these objects are man made. Perhaps based on technology from another world that has been recovered. Or possibly given to us. But more and more plausibly some new type of propulsion that the military has kept under wraps. Which would explain a lot. How these ones can maneuver like this at 100,000 feet, which is over three times the altitude of passenger jets. Or how they have been seen flying into the ocean like they were passing through air. Or why anyone would waste their time doing elaborate formations over the vast nothingness of the northern Canadian wilderness. It's easier to explain the Air Force doing test flights on some next-generation craft than someone traveling light years just to buzz around over empty forests. I can accept that.
What I do not accept is the idea this was nothing. All these experienced pilots. Flying different planes in different directions. All experiencing the same sightings. Acknowledged by Air Traffic Control. And actually reported to NORAD, who are in charge of nothing less than preventing (or conducting) a nuclear holocaust in the event the wrong sorts of unidentified objects are spotted over Canada.
I've posted this before and I can't in good conscience not post it now. Because the ATC scene in Close Encounters feels like a perfect example of life imitating art right now:
If these phenomena are craft from another world, I just hope they're not aware of the civil war happening at Barstool now, so they don't just decide our species isn't worth keeping alive any longer.