It's Tough Being The Best Non-Professional Athlete in The Company

Not to beat my own meat, but I'm like Michael Jordan in this bitch. Anytime we play a sport, my team always wins. Some people wanna label me a try hard, I just label them a bitch. What's the point of playing if you're not trying to win? Oh you just wanna have fun? Go jerk off then. It doesn't matter if it's handball, pickle ball, basketball, soccer, football, or fucking four square, I'm playing to win. Obviously the professional athletes in this company will crop dust all of us (Will Compton declined to do Oklahoma drills with me), but for the average Joe's like myself in the office, none of them can hold me. I'm not the best at every single sport but I'm good at all of them making me the most complete athlete in the office. 

I've said my piece. If anybody feels some type of way you know where to find me at.