I Apologize to Office Manager Ebony and Everybody Else I Accused of Sending Me Unsolicited Snacks to My Miami House

El Presidente1/31/2024 7:36 PM

So yesterday I started receiving unidentified packages of snacks and junk food being sent to my Miami house. Little bags of cookies, candy, pretzels etc. It looked exactly like the snacks we have in the office. I assumed my address somehow got added to our office snack distribution list.

Now why is this a problem? Because if I have snacks in my house I will eat them all. I have the will power of an ant. You might as well just strap me down in a chair, pull my head back, open my mouth with plyers and shovel all the candy down my throat. And when you are 46 years old and don't work out that's how you turn into Big Ev over night. No thank you. So I was pissed at whoever sent me all this shit and started accusing everybody under the sun of trying to sabotage me and make me fat. The more people denied being responsible the more frustrated I was getting. Listen pounds and pounds of candy don't just show up at my door from the clouds. Somebody sent it to me and somebody wanted me to become gross again.

Well last night I got a text from Mr Ice asking if I got the candy he sent me. Apparently he was unhappy with my snack selection when he was here this past weekend and didn't want to get caught in a snackless situation again. So being the leader of men that I am I'm here to apologize to everybody I accused of sending the unsolicited candy. My bad.

Mr. Ice = Snack Guy