This is a big ass blog.
Old news to some, but I just stumbled across this story from TMZ.
No if, ands, or butts about it… This Panamanian model has “GYATT!” a point.
(Jesus)
Normally I don’t side with women who seem dumb enough to hide their own Easter eggs, but in this case, it stands to reason that in a society that worships girls with big asses, girls with big asses need to be able to travel seamlessly to places where they can be worshipped.
Now I know what you’re thinking… “Large, there are big butts and there are bigger butts, but this girl has an ass that casts a 15-pound shadow." And I can’t disagree with you. But if we are going to continue putting these enormous turd cutters on a podium, we’re going to have to provide a podium that accommodates “dat ass.”
So get it together, commercial airlines, and provide some concessions for these bottom-heavy queens.
In the meantime, let me provide some one-liners for guys that get horny when they see the crack of dawn, much less the crack of Gracie Bon…
“Honey, I know you’ve been cocked more than John Wayne’s rifle, but I still want to be a burglar and smash your back door in."
“Hey!… That’s a nice butt… What time does it open?”
“Grrrrrrl… That ass is so big I wanna take you to the beach and rent you out as shade.”
“Baby, you into astrology?… Cause I’m fixin’ to ‘Clapricorn’ those cheeks!”
“Propaganda?… Let’s take a propa ganda at dat ass!”
“Imma call you ‘Sneeze’ because that gazoon is TIGHT!”
“Your ass will look like a clock once I put my face and two hands on it.”
“That onion could bring a tear to a glass eye.”
“Ass so big she gotta sit down in shifts.”
"Sweetheart, you could make a statue flinch with those cheeks that are softer than elevator music."
“Hoping you’re like a fine French restaurant… All deliveries in the rear!”
“China or Japan?… Because I’m China get into Japanties.”
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And finally…
“Girl, I’m gonna bury my dick so deep in your ass that the person who pulls me out will be crowned King Arthur.”
Good night, Gracie.
Take a report.
-Large
This whole blog was written 'tongue-in-cheeks'… I don't really support travel accommodations for wide loads because my own oversized frame has never been given accommodation… To be honest, the whole thing depresses me.
TAR
-L