Udonis Haslem Continues To Embarrass Himself, This Time Declaring "It's On" If He Ever Runs Into Paul Pierce And Kevin Garnett At The Store

Damian Strohmeyer. Getty Images.

The phrase "rent free" is something that gets thrown out a lot. Honestly, I think it's pretty lame. Maybe it's because Sports Twitter has sort of ruined it, maybe it's because I feel like people use it wrong way too often, but it's definitely one of the most overplayed and overused "insults" we have on the internet when it comes to sports.

At the same time, we had Udonis Haslem. Now while I don't think it's correct to say that the Celts and Pierce/KG live "rent free" in Haslem's head, it's very clear that he is obsessed with them. Now in retirement, he can't stop thinking/talking about the Celtics/Pierce and KG. Last week it was him telling all Celtics fans to go fuck themselves because they called him out on disrespecting Bill Russell. Very weird reaction from a guy who clearly tried to backtrack.

Advertisement

Now? UD is back, this time talking about how if he ever seens KG/Pierce, it's "on sight"

I mean, outside of Heat Twitter weirdos who are probably masturbating to this, the rest of us can agree this is starting to get a little sad right? My guy, you're UDONIS HASLEM. Please have some shame. Every time he seems to get on this topic, all we hear is a bench player talking like a starter. Haslem seems to forget that until the Heat Big 3 teamed up, this wasn't even a rivalry. The success that MIA team had against the 2008 Celts was most definitely not because of Udonis Haslem. Yet here he is trying to come off as some sort of tough guy that would fight KG/Pierce if he ever ran into them in the grocery store?

As a reminder, Udonis Haslem is 43 years old. If that doesn't make you cringe I'm not sure what will. I get Heat fans getting a raging boner from it, and maybe that's all he's trying to do here, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing. This would be like if Thanasis went on a podcast and started talking about how he's going to beat up Tatum/Brown if he ever sees them because the Celts and Bucks are rivals. 

Not to mention last time I checked Paul Pierce was stabbed 27 times, immediately came back and played all 82 games that following season and put up 26 a game. I'm pretty sure he can handle himself. Kevin Garnett? Yeah, something tells me that guy can hold his own too. What's the saying? The loudest in the room is usually the most insecure? That's all I see when I watch these Haslem clips because make no mistake, Pierce and KG aren't on their show talking about how they'd beat up Udonis Haslem, because nobody gives a shit about Udonis Haslem. 

Who knows, maybe he was just caught in his feelings after Pierce roasted his jersey retirement

but everyone knows once you go with the "if I ever see you, I'm gonna beat you up!" is one of the saddest comebacks you can have. OK cool man, you're going to try and fight someone (and probably lose) in a grocery store? Man, you're so tough! It's even more embarrassing when you're also trying to get those two to come on your podcast as Haslem has said on previous episodes. 

Advertisement

Now, some might suggest that beef like this is something today's NBA needs more of, and on some level I agree. Bad blood is what makes rivalries great. I would just say today's NBA does not need bench players trying to act all tough and start beef with the stars. That, is much less awesome. It's easy for Haslem to do this because he was writing checks that LeBron/Wade/Bosh cashed. He was never asked to back up this hatred, he just let the stars do it.

I do wonder if we'll see Pierce and KG take the bait. I'd love to see their thoughts on stuff like this, because I'm pretty sure their reaction would be gold. Granted it would give Haslem what he wants in terms of the attention, but sometimes you have to step up and put an end to this nonsense.