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A Detroit Lions Fat Guy Fan Gets Torture-Racked Onto A Burning Table By Bills Mafia and His Ass Catches On Fire

Correct PMT social rep. Taylor Swift is not ready for Buffalo. 

And not because of the weather. She’s from nearby near the Poconos in beautiful PA. 

And not because of the crazy fans. There is NOTHING in this world a Bills Mafia fanatic could do or say that would rattle her whatsoever. Even a little bit. 

This poor girl has been trapped in a stadium box with the fucking most insane people alive right now. Well that’s embellishment, but they’re at least in the top 99th percentile. I’m talking Brittany & Jackson Mahomes. She’s been forced to not just put on a happy face and pretend she is happy to see these lowlifes every other Sunday basically since October, she’s had to pretend she likes them and interact with them.

This is how I know we’ve officially lost Taylor to the Cleveland Heights streets. Any sane girl would have dropped Travis Kelce’s ass minutes after meeting his friends’ wives, girlfriend, and totally not gay brother. But people in love aren’t sane. They’re far from it. They’re fucking crazy. So the fact Travis has inadvertently put her through this Guantanamo Bay level torture, and she’s still showing up to stadiums rocking his number, says A LOT.

(Sidebar- the “real/true/diehard) Taylor fans don’t want to ask this question out loud, but isn’t it ironic that the girl who created her brand  and image around NOT being the cheerleader and jock-sniffer cleat chaser prom-queen is head over heels for the jock of all jocks now? (And her dad is too)…

Ok all that said, every day now we get 50 videos of Bills fans finding ways to disprove Darwin’s theory. They’ve perfected it. So why is this clip blog worthy?

I’ll tell you why. 

Because this guy not only had his ass catch on fire. (Shout out Busta and the Neptunes. BANGER.),

But because his friend(?) put him in the patented, Lex Luger “torture rack”.

What a fucking awesome blast from the past.

Why was wrestling, and wrestling finishing moves so much fucking cooler back in the day? Was it the steroids, gasoline tanning beds, and cocaine? If so, why don’t we bring that shit back?

P.s. - do we need a best old school finishing moves of all time blog this week? Kinda feel like we do now

P.p.s. - turns out this wasn’t technically a torture rack and was actually John Cena’s finisher, “the fu”. My bad. Don’t care.