An Australian Heiress is Giving Away $27 Million Fortune And Wants The Public To Decide Where it Goes
NY Post - An Austrian heiress is giving away much of her $27.1 million fortune — and she’s recruiting 50 people to tell her where it should go.
Marlene Engelhorn, 31, was bequeathed the vast sum by her grandmother, Traudl Engelhorn-Vechiatto, who died in September 2022 at age 95.
But with no need for all the money, the heiress has set up an initiative titled “Good Council for Redistribution.”
“I have inherited a fortune, and therefore power, without having done anything for it,” she wrote in a statement, per the BBC. “And the state doesn’t even want taxes on it.
“If politicians don’t do their job and redistribute, then I have to redistribute my wealth myself,” she declared.
Good for you Marlene. If you're going to do the whole tax the rich/redistribution of wealth thing, and you stumble into a $27 million inheritance, you better give that money to the people. She'd be a fraud to do anything different. Whether you agree with her politically or not, you can at least respect that she's putting her money where her mouth is. That's why you'll never catch me shaming rich people on the internet. Of course I wouldn't fight it if Joe Biden put a gun to Jeff Bezos head and forced him to wire me a hundred thousand dollars or so. But on the off-chance I fall ass backwards into a small fortune some day, I can't have anybody expecting me to spread the wealth.
Unfortuantely for Marlene, it's too late for her. She's backed herself into a corner. She has $27 million she needs to find a home for, and her own bank account is not an option. Luckily for you (if you're one of our many Australian readers) there's a chance that YOU could be named to Marlene's "Good Council for Redistribution". You'll sit on a council with 50 other blokes and deliberate over where/who the $27 million should be allotted to.
If I were one of the selected Australians, here are some things I'd suggest we do with the money.
Invest in an NFL Team
This wouldn't be a final destination for the money. It would just be a way to accumulate more of it. If Marlene is interested in a sure fire way to 10x her money before spreading the wealth, she should make a sound investment. There is no better investment than an NFL Football team. Investing in an NFL franchise is the closest thing we have to printing free money. For example, Shahid Kahn bought the Jaguars in 2012 for $750 million. They're now worth $4 billion. And that franchise STINKS. The barrier of entry would be extremly difficult to overcome. They don't just let anybody in on NFL ownership. But if Marlene can somehow get that $27 million tied up in the NFL, she'll end up with WAY more wealth to spread around
Highest Paying Game Show of All-Time
With $27 million you could produce the highest paying game show in the history of game shows. Make the prize $15 million, then spend $12 million on production, casting, location, paying Steve Harvey to host, etc. I'm not sure what the competition would be exactly, but it has to involve contestants stabbing each other in the back. For a prize that big people would be cut throat.
Public Scavenger Hunt
I saw a YouTube channel do this with $10k once. They hid money in random spots all around New York City, then left little clues to their fans as to where the money was hidden. Marlene could hide 2,700 different $10k bundles all around Australia, then tell people to have at it. It would whip the entire country into a frenzy.
Sarah McLachlan ASPCA Animal Cruelity Charity
For one, it's a good cause. I'm anti-animal abuse. For two, maybe Marlene can strike a deal with Sarah McLachlan. If all $27 million dollars goes to the ASPCA, then they take their commercials off TV for good. It's a win-win. Sarah gets $27 mil to spend on dogs, and we can stop being dog shamed during TV timeouts.
Non-Power 5 Division 1 Football Program
It would be cool if one day a MAC school like Bowling Green had $27 million to play with. If Marlene did this, she should stipulate that the university HAS to spend all the money on NIL deals in one year. Imagine if Bowling Green dropped $27 million in a single season on top recruits and transfers. Just go all in at once. $27 million probably isn't enough to buy a National Championship, but it would make for a few awesome seasons. Some small school is going to end up doing something like this someday. Come to think of it, this would probably be a lot easier with basketball. You could get a whole elite starting 5 with that type of money.
Shutting Down the Lab in China That's Creating Super COVID for FunI wrote this blog the other day. There's a lab in China that has created a mutant strain of Covid that is killing "humanized mice" at a 100% hit rate. The mice are all dying within 2 weeks. They don't even have a reason for it. It's only a matter of time before someone drops a beaker full of super Covid and goes airborne for real. Maybe $27 million is enough to make them fuck off and do literally anything else.
Nigerian Prince Emails That Actually Pay
I've made this same joke many times before, but I love the idea of one of those "I'm a Nigerian Prince and I need your help" email scams actually being legit. They could send one of those slightly incorrect English emails to thousands of people. "My Friend, I know this message with come to you as surpised. I am seeking for an avenue..." The first 27 people who are actually dumb enough to respond with their bank info get wired $1 million.
Just a few ideas. Nothing crazy. Although I'm sure the "Good Council for Redistribution" is going to end up doing something lame like give the money to the Salvation Army, or the Red Cross, or people who "actually need it". Which I guess is commendable. But if you're looking to have some fun Marlene, you should really do something like the game show or the Nigerian Prince thing.