Old, Bald, And Fat Is No Way To Go Through Life
It's me, your friend Barstool Nate. My real name is Eric Nathan but when Dave hired me 10+ years ago he told me to "come up with a name to blog under". Back then, everyone blogged under some sort of nickname- "El Pres", "Feits", "KFC", "KMarko", etc. I don't think anyone used their real name besides Mo. So when Dave directed me to come up with a pen name, I didn't want to be like "uhhh, Eric is good". So my first offer was simply "E", which he informed me could get confusing since it was already an "Entourage" character's name. I didn't want to reply back with "well KFC is literally a world-wide fast food chain, I think it'll be ok", because again, I was 24 years old and Dave was hiring me, I was just happy to be getting the opportunity at all. So I thought it over for a few hours and eventually emailed him back "let's shorten my last name and go by 'Nate"" to which he responded was a great choice. Boom, boss loves me and my fake name, great first day at the job.
Ok so that paragraph has nothing to do with why I'm writing this blog. Honestly I've been tossing this blog idea in my head for a couple weeks now, but I'm finally getting it down on paper/internet.
(Nate Note: I actually wrote this blog on January 18th but that same day Will Compton wanted to post a very similar blog and I was like fuckkkkk, I guess I'll be a good lad and hold mine off for a bit, and now a month later it's still sitting here so I figured I'd post it today, Valentine's Day. Shout out to my single homies out there, we good!).
So anyway, that first paragraph is setting the stage wonderfully for what this blog is about- personal growth. Fuck yes, that's what I said. I've been doing this job for a LONG time. Sometimes I feel I've written everything there is to be written. Plus I live a pretty humble/boring personal life especially compared to my mid-late 20's, so sometimes I don't really have much to say. In my real life, going to bars and blacking out has mostly been replaced by going to dinners and having a couple glasses of wine. Sometimes I love it, other times I'm like "damn I miss those days". Depends on how lonely/depressed I am at the time. You either understand exactly what I mean by that, or you haven't hit your 30s yet.
Not to say I don't still love a good night out with 5 espresso martinis, but they've definitely slowed down now that I'm 35. That's right, 35. Old as hell. I should be coming home from war and raising children, not blogging on the internet high on edibles but I guess the good lord has a different plan for me.
But anyway, I wanted to get back to what blogging really is at its core- story telling. I feel Barstool has sorta gotten away from that. Back in the day you used to come to this site and read hilarious tales of someone's weekend (like Feits accidentally stealing a dog), or something annoying that happened to them, or how many bagels Dave snuck downstairs at midnight to eat (also a real blog). Now all of those stories that once were told beautifully in blog form have more or less been replaced by a quick Twitter video/rant, a TikTok, or told on a 2 hour podcast episode. But I still feel blogging at its core is the best way to tell a story.
So ok god damn I keep getting off track- what is this blog about? Oh right, personal growth. As I mentioned, I'm 35 years old now. I've spent the entirety of my adult life waking up, blogging, watching TV, going to bed, and then doing it all over again. In between I've mixed in some relationships (none have worked out, sad!), some drinking, some casual drug use, a few trips, a lot of poker, and a few other odds and ends. Honestly, it's sort of crazy my entire adult life has been documented on the internet- whether it be on Twitter, on the blog, or my IG, there are people who have followed my life for the last decade. And honestly, thank you if you're a true Nateaholic and ride with me through the ups and downs. You've watched me do awesome things, some stupid shit, get in trouble, rise back up, fall back down again, wear a goofy mask, and so on.
But here I am at 35 (I REALLY gotta stop mentioning that age thing) sort of at a crossroads. As the title of this blog so elegantly says- old, fat, and bald is no way to go through life…and I'm all 3. Now, I will say, being bald is beautiful. Ain't nothing wrong with being bald. But I'm not naive to the idea that a hard "B" is often weaponized against my people to put us down and make us feel lesser. And I think most balds would prefer to have hair. If I had a beautiful head of hair I would be less self-conscious and not own 100 hats, but that's not the hand I was dealt so life goes on.
While some people reading this would not consider 35 to be old, I sort of do? 16 year old me would love that I have a dream job, that I've gone to Stanley Cup games, that I've played in the World Series of Poker, that I've jammed out on-stage with OAR, and that I a financially stable college graduate who lives in Manhattan with a beautiful rooftop with sprawling views. A lot of awesome things have happened to me and I do not take them for granted.
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I also struggle with things too- I'm in my mid-30's, single, don't own a home, and don't have a dog. It's that "real life" stuff that keeps me up at night. Questioning myself, doubting myself, wondering why I am the way I am. Call it imposter syndrome or call it just being honest with myself, if you hate certain things about me, believe me buddy, try living with them. But at the same time I know who I am, my friends and family as well, that the public doesn't see and then I calm down. It's all a mindfuck and even after 10 years of this I don't know how to approach each day. It's not dissimilar to people with "real jobs", ours here at Barstool are just more public. If I fuck up and Dave yells at me, the entire Internet piles on with "fire Nate, that fucking bald rat fuck" (not nice!). When you mess up at your real job, you just send an email apologizing to your supervisor, put in some buzzwords like "synergy" and "bandwidth" and move on with your day.
So far we have covered that I'm old and I'm bald, and the 3rd strike is I'm fat. I'm not traditionally fat…like I'm not obese and if you pass by me in the street you don't think I need to pay for an extra seat on an airplane. But when I see myself, I am not happy with what I see. The truth is I barely, if ever, work out. The last time I truly worked out was in 2020 when we were stuck at home and I roller bladed a shit ton every day for a couple of months.
Before that I got in decent-ish shape in 2017 or so, but that's it. The fact of the matter is I hate working out. It's half laziness, half indifference. It's just easier to lay on the coach, take an edible, eat ice cream, and watch The Office than go to a gym and lift heavy things while eating grilled chicken salads every day. Also since I broke my foot in May, I have haven't been able to do much. I'm mostly healed now, and though my foot still hurts every day (I don't want to talk about it), I can be brave and go to the gym and not use it as an excuse.
So with all that being said, I've reached an impasse. I gotta change things.
I'm not unhappy. I live a good life. But I gotta change what I can change before it's too late. I need to prioritize…what was that phrase I used earlier? Oh right, personal growth. I can't keep on being the guy who wakes up, blogs, takes a gummy, watches TV, eats ice cream, goes to bed. And since I can't fix my baldness, and I can't change my age, I have to control the only thing I can control which is my health.
I read a lot about getting older and there's always one common point a lot of people make- they wish they prioritized the gym more when they were younger. To look better, to feel better, and for overall health. Plus our muscles are like, disintegrating or something? I'm not terriblyyyyy unhealthy by any means- I don't eat a ton of fast food or drink alcohol 7 days a week. Nothing like that. But I'm just a middle of the road skinny-fat-bald-PERFECTLY NORMAL HEIGHT-aging guy who should make more of an effort.
And I know a lot of people reading this can relate. To me it's just a matter of doing it. Making incremental changes to get healthier, look better, feel better, and hopefully other good changes come with it. I'm not giving up drinking or anything like that, but I can do vodka sodas instead of IPAs. And I'm not giving up steak, not even if Sleepy Joe bans red meat and replaces it with bugs, I will still find a way to eat steak.
Nothing drastic even happened to make me write this blog. Again, it's just been bouncing around in my brain for a bit and I haven't written a long personal blog in quite a while so I figured I'd fire it off. To be honest my 2023 wasn't great by any means, both personally and professionally, and I want to make 2024 and beyond as good as I can make it. So my goals are as follows:
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- Work out
- Eat healthy-ish
- Eat more Omakase
- Read a book
- Become a millionaire
Nate Note: Since I originally wrote this blog I have started working out, sorta. I've worked out 5 times with a trainer, and last night I joined a gym. I woke up to go to the gym this morning but stayed in bed. But I woke up for it! Baby steps. Joining the gym is a HUGE step for me because I fucking hate the gym but we're growing up and just doing it because it's good for me. Plus after a few times I'll probably end up getting addicted to it like anything else I start doing.
- If I'm working out I'm eating healthy, those will always go hand-in-hand for me. But weekends I won't limit myself. I'm not going to show up to the bar and order a salad, I'm not a psychopath.
- I'm trying to eat more Omakase. If I'm cutting back on other vices, my main vice is going to be eating too much fancy raw fish. If you don't know what Omakase is, it's fancy sushi. It can be expensive, but no more expensive than a standard night out at the bar. I'm trying to go once a week to a new spot. It's really fucking good and if you've never done it, it's a great experience as well.
- I have completely stopped reading. I used to read all the time, now I read 0% of the time. I want to change that, and have tried numerous times over the last few years with no results to show for it. This will be the year I read a book. I've set the bar so incredibly low, but considering I did not finish a book last year (I started a few!), it's not a given I complete this one. I will try though!
- I'm still not a millionaire and that is embarrassing. Honestly I'm brave for admitting it. If you're old, bald, and fat, you have to be a millionaire. Not really sure how to accomplish this goal, just gonna keep on investing and praying BTC keeps going up. I also have a lot of Apple stock which has done nicely for me (up 118% since I started buying it in 2016). I'll let you guys know if I become a millionaire this year.
Professionally I want to be better at work, as I think most people do. There's little things I can be better at, including doing more blogs like this. I need to add stuff to my repertoire, my work resume, to show that I'm still evolving and getting better, not falling behind or being complacent. Those Friday shows did good numbies despite Dave trying to bury me and steal my glitter, so that's been a nice start.
I'm now 2,000 words into this blog so I'll let you go. Thank you to everyone who has followed my life's journey to this point and hopefully I have cool/exciting/interesting things to share around this time in 2025!
Thank you and gosh bless,
Eric/E/Nate/The DAWG
PS: I made a TikTok. I have been planning on copying Jack Mac who has 800,000+ followers. There's a saying in these walls that rudely goes "If Jack Mac can do it, anyone can do it". It's a very backhanded way of saying anyone can get big on TikTok if they put effort into it. Jack is the GOAT and deserves all the credit in the world. I should hop on the Tok too. New year, new me.
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PS: The top picture is from my IG, a pic with the RAWWWKET. Since this blog is all about me, you can follow me over there. I rarely post on the grid and my story is usually pictures of steak, sushi, or the Empire State Building. Namaste.