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Walking Into The Subway At Night And Getting Treated To A Surprise Green Day Concert Is An All-Time Great Twist...Or The Worst Thing Ever

So Green Day apparently did this last night and the first thing I thought of was how nice of a treat it must've been for people riding the subway. As anyone who has dabbled in the underground labyrinth of hell known as the New York subway, there are a lot of surprises you can stumble into seeing after 10 PM. Here are a few that I can remember back when I lived in the city.

1. A giant ball of rats eating, fucking, and/or attempting to assemble into the infamous Mouse of Minsk from American Tail in a big to take over Manhattan.

2. The first drunk tourist out of roughly 10,000 I saw that drunkenly pole danced on the subway but had the skills as well as the body for me to wonder if she was a professional giving a free show for the love of the game (much like Billie Joe & co. above)

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3. A homeless dude walking naked from train to train with a dick that resembled the tree trunk Barry Bonds used to wield during his historic 2001 season.

Giphy Images.

That last one is especially close to my heart because that was the most ridiculous season I ever witnessed as a sports fan and that was my last night as a resident of the city, which hammered home (no pun intended) why I was moving to the sleepy burbs north of The Wall.

While all three of those memories are clearly remembered fondly, I think I would much rather hear one of the best bands of a generation play some of their greatest hits as well as whatever covers they decided were subway worthy. Being able to go anywhere in the city for for less than $3 is already a hell of a deal, but getting a free mini Green Day concert is the best bang you can get for your buck outside of downloading the Gametime app, creating an account, then using promo code MMB for $20 off your first purchase.

Then I thought about how I felt during all those late night subway rides and I'm pretty sure an impromptu Green Day subway show would actually be the worst thing ever for New Yorkers that just want to get home or at least out of the tunnels of filth they will be back in mere hours later during rush hour. It's one thing if you walk into a surprise performance by a bum playing a harmonica, which results in hushed silence while people scroll on their phones. But it's not nearly as fun if your train becomes jam packed with people that are on a natural high because they just saw Green Day perform and now you have Jimmy fucking Fallon smashing a tambourine in your face while fake laughing the entire time. 

I say this not only as someone that hates people that fake laugh and don't respect the tambourine, but also someone that thinks people that have said shit like this should be banned from the Northeast if not America forever.

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