FEED THE PIT! Bills Fans Are Allegedly Throwing People Into A Pit Where Their New Stadium Is Being Built Before Each Game After Someone Falling In Apparently Sparked Their Current Winning Streak
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I know we live in a weird digital world where any story that gets enough views, shares, and likes becomes true in everyone's mind. But what's the difference between Bills fans allegedly feeding humans to a pit and Richard Gere allegedly feeding gerbils to his ass? Okay that escalated quickly, but what I'm saying is rumors traveled across the world long before the internet accelerated their spreading to warp speed.
Besides, would anyone even bat an eyelash if this were true? Not at all. In fact, I would actually be shocked if the beautiful wildlings of Buffalo weren't sacrificing humans for decades in order to shake the curse the Football Gods placed on their frozen tundra. If your city has a massive title drought and a giant hole in the earth, you can't consider yourself a true fan if you aren't feeding people to that pit in hopes it spits up a championship in exchange.
Naysayers will say that the supposed smoking gun in all this is from a Twitter account with 1,000 followers whose ER source is someone with Gene Wilder's real name.
I would like to politely counter that those naysayers don't know how #BillsMafia rolls and I can guarantee that pit will be eating bodies by the dozen if not thousands the rest of the month if Buffalo keeps winning games. Because these sick fucks aren't going to leave any stone unturned to keeping the good juju going now that they are three wins away from that elusive Lombardi Trophy.
UPDATE: Apparently a naked person fell into the pit back in September prior to the home opener against the Raiders, which Dante blogged about.
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This obviously predates the Bills' current winning streak as well as the most ridiculous rollercoaster ride to a 2 seed that I can remember. But Buffalo did kick the shit out of Las Vegas 38-10 after the pit's first feeding, so maybe the pit must be fed fresh blood after all...
P.S. Obligatory shout out to the pit from Parks & Rec.
h/t Dave