Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. I basically volunteered to do a shoey out of Franks shoe if the Dolphins win. Why would I punish myself if my favorite team wins their first playoff game in 24 years? The whole time I was thinking about Tai Tuivasa doing a shoey after his knock out win over Greg Hardy.
Little did I know Frank The Tank hasn't worn sock in FIVE fucking years. Can you get herpes from a shoey? No chance Frank has herpes but who knows what disease those feet can cock up. What if his soul soaks into the sole of the shoe and if I drink a part of Frank gets latched onto me like a horcrux? You know what? Fuck it, I don't give a fuck. I'd do way worse things than a shoey for the Dolphins to win a playoff game. If I had to, I'd tie myself to a pole and burn to death if it meant the Dolphins would win a Super Bowl. The curse needs to end, and I will do whatever it takes to bring peace, freedom, and justice to my Dolphins community.