Chinese Chess Player Stripped of His World Title After Taking A Growler (Shit) In A Luxury Hotel's Bathtub

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BEIJING (AP) — A competitor in Chinese chess says he has sued the national association in China for mental distress after he was stripped of a title for drinking alcohol and defecating in the bathtub of his hotel room at a recent competition.

Yan Chenglong doesn’t deny what happened but wrote in a civil complaint this week that he drank a moderate amount of beer to celebrate his win with other players and that some food had caused stomach problems and he couldn’t make it to the toilet in time.

The complaint came one week after a social media post by the Chinese Xiangqi Association that described the drinking and defecation. It said an investigation had found that Yan damaged hotel property, violated public order and good behavior, and had a negative impact on the tournament.

Nobody knows more about the trials and tribulations of diarrhea more than me. I'm on the record as having diarrhea since Easter of 2007. I do not diarrhea shame. I do not place indignity around diarrhea. I never have and I never will. 

I know that diarrhea has been used as a silly joke and is often ridiculed but I have a fact for you. The World Health Organization estimated that in 2017, approximately 1.6 million people died from diarrheal diseases. 

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Shoutout Pants Bear.

That being said. This guy is a fucking liar (not Pants Bear… The Bathtub Bandit). You don't lack the time to utilize a toilet but you can use a shower?

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 No chance. This guy was just drunk goofin. He was sitting there with his huge Chinese Chess trophy and yuckin it up with his boys on facetime. 

"Fellas, it's great to get a win but the nerves from the high stakes have your boy's stomach in absolute knots. My butthole is absolutely blistered from the hotel toilet paper. I simply cannot do this anymore. 

"Chenglong, my friend, you gotta turn that brown upside down. Why not make this ailment a good joke?"

"Like what lol? It's not like I have a ton to work with in this hotel. Im stuck. I cant leave. I have diarrhea after all."

"Do you have a tub?"

"Yes."

"Watch this documentary. It should give you an idea about that tub LMAO"

PS: If I don't get to shit out of a castle opening before I die, I'm gonna kill myself.