A Casual Fan/Sexual Admirer's Review Of The Foreplay Tiger Woods Video
The Foreplay guys released their much-anticipated video with Tiger Woods today. Here are my thoughts:
1) Collin Morikawa and Tommy Fleetwood? Who?
The fact that the crew is casually talking to Tommy Fleetwood (World #15) and Collin Morikawa (World #11) like those guys are maintenance workers on push mowers is insane by itself. "Hey Tommy…" says Riggs, before cheekily letting Fleetwood know they're about to film something with Tiger. Then Tommy's voice drops and, in a hushed, grave tone, he says "are you really?" The CHASM in reverence between how our boys feel about Tiger vs. how familiar they are with these two all-world players would almost feel disrespectful. Except both Fleetwood and Morikawa either share that same reverence for Tiger, are accustomed to it, are completely awesome dudes, or all of the above.
Then you have Frankie yelling across a waste area to Collin Morikawa about how he's going to puke. They amicably jab back and forth like a couple maids changing out shampoo in a Radisson. Call me crazy but there was a time not long ago in my life where having a conversation with either Tommy or Collin on a golf course would have ME giddily pissing my pants. I guess I'm saying that these early conversations with such high profile golfers really sets the tone and establishes the stakes for the video. Which brings us to…
2) Not Too Cool For School
I LOVE that the guys are so open about their nervousness. I mean it's Tiger fucking Woods. If ever there was a person who commands every single eyeball in every single room he/she enters, it's him. Who else fits that description? I guess it's like TSwift, Leo, Ronaldo, Messi, Trump, Federer, Obama, MJ, Lebron, Brady, Beyonce… maybe that gymnast from LSU if you're all horned up? I don't know. Point is, Tiger Woods is on a very short list of literal breathtaking humans. You are NOT comfortable when you find yourself in their presence.
3) Please Don't Hurt Him
When Frankie talks about how he forced Tiger into a dap that nearly broke his hand, when Tiger wanted a handshake, I gasped. Then, when Trent is getting his lesson from Tiger, I was terrified he was going to draw his club back while Tiger was close and smash his iron into Tiger's beautiful teeth. I don't know why but watching this video made me want to protect Tiger like he was the world's most precious collection of Revolutionary War tea mugs. He is one of one and by God we must protect him. I cannot endure another Tiger injury; we've come too far.
4) Finally, A Layman's Lesson From Tiger
Every video I've ever seen where Tiger talks about the mechanics of a golf swing has felt like when my friends in finance start talking about fucking investment strategy. They cannot explain it to me in the childish terms I need in order to understand it. With Tiger, he's too far removed from beginner golf. When he talks about "zeroing" out his swing, my brain goes into sleep mode.
Which is why I was pumped to see him slow things down and speak in simple terms to our crew. The tips he had for Trent and Riggs—move the ball forward, slight grip change—are graspable, workable, helpful.
5) A Walk Down Caddie Lane
This whole part felt like an exclusive, behind-the-scenes walk down memory lane. This was the bonus content from the DVD. The main show had ended and they started talking about Tiger's old caddie, Joe LaCava, which sprung Tiger to a mystical, circuitous remembrance that tied the hallowed threads of golf legends into one beautiful tale. The illustrations and pictures and music brought it all home and if I were more of a golf nerd, this would have been the coolest part of the whole video. Above all, it shows that Tiger Woods TRUSTS the Foreplay guys.
Which is very cool. Great video, one of the biggest "gets" that Barstool has ever had, and a wonderful watch for golf fans everywhere.