The Person Dressed As Eeyore At Tokyo Disneyland Stayed In Character While Everyone Braced For An Earthquake, Which Means He's Either Going To Get A Raise Or Get Fired

What a goddamn performance! As someone that had an irrational fear of earthquakes and tornadoes despite safely spending most of his life in New York nowhere close to anywhere that experiences those terrifying disasters, I know if I was in that Eeyore costume, I would've gone full Costanza and gone to wherever the best Earthquake Zone is in the park while bouncing through everyone like Tigger.

But when danger stepped in, this Eeyore stepped up, which makes me feel like he deserves not only a raise but also a promotion. I'm not sure if he earned becoming Winnie The Pooh because that's a core Disney character and there's not chance that someone cast to play a mopey donkey has the energy or charisma to play Tigger. But maybe this costumed hero can land a prime spot in Mickey's posse as Pluto or even take over for Explorer Donald, who wanted no part of whatever chaos Mother Nature was about to unleash on the Earth.

Actually let's be honest, this Eeyore has probably already been fired by the big wigs at Disney. Sure soothing a bunch of children and paying guests as an emotionless voice broadcasts over a loud speaker like they are in the Squid Game seems like a good thing for most companies. But The Mouse has long been all about making that Disney magic feel real and Eeyore doing anything but acting like a sad sack of shit in the corner of the park is worse than a 10 on the Richter Scale simply because the suits at Disney go to GREAT lengths to make sure nobody ever breaks character, which this costumed person unfortunately did. Hopefully Universal Studios Japan has an opening, because I think this Eeyore is gonna need a new job and has earned the right to be at least one of the Tier 2 Mario characters in their Nintendo World.