Lincoln Riley Receiving An Eggnog Bath Is Probably The Highlight Of His Tenure At USC So Far

I’m not a Lincoln Riley hater. I think the guy is a good coach. I think his USC teams will be in for a rude awakening when they get to the Big Ten. He has to figure out a way to build a fucking defense. But in general, my only gripe with him is that his USC team last year losing to Utah is what allowed Ohio State to back into the college football playoff. Other than that, I have no ill will towards the guy. With that said the Lincoln Riley tenure at USC thus far has been kind of a spectacular failure. Caleb Williams was the lone bright spot. He’ll be gone now, but USC admittedly found a way to win last night against the top 20 opponent, even though Caleb Williams opted out of playing in the ball game. Shoutout to backup Miller Moss, who put up big-time numbers in place of him. How did they celebrate their eight-win season? With an eggnog bath.

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I’m going to come clean here for a second. I’ve never had eggnog. I’m not just saying that because I’m aware that some eggnog has booze in it, and that’s kind of a non-starter for me, but I’ve never even been offered eggnog. Is eggnog not a Michigan thing or something? Or am I just lacking in terms of culture? It’s probably the second one. I need to touch grass and drink some non-alcoholic eggnog. I always assumed it was one of those traditions people talked about but never really partook in. 

I do love the silliness of bowl season. I’m one of those who finds charm in the weirdness of these games while also understanding why players opt out. I don’t think Caleb Williams is lamenting the fact that he didn’t contribute to a game that resulted in his coach getting an eggnog bath. But if you’re going to have 40-something bowl games, most of them featuring completely adequate teams, you might as well make the most of it. Give me all the Cheez it and mayo baths.

I got to ask though, why a eggnog bath in the Holiday Bowl? Usually, the celebrations relate back to the ball game. This is the DIRECTV Holiday Bowl, so unless somebody thought it was a good idea to pour a DIRECTV satellite on Lincoln Riley‘s head, I don’t think that would exactly fit. I guess they were just looking to be festive for the holidays. Wait, holidays, Holiday Bowl. Jesus, I’m stupid sometimes.