Goodnight Sweet Prince: Those Bird Electric Scooters That Took Over 2018 Have Officially Filed For Bankruptcy

What a dark day. These electric scooters really had a Linsanity type run in 2018. If you lived in a major city, you saw people riding these things around with no regard for human life. Eventually the government decided it was time to crack down on the literal thousands of scooters just laying around city streets. I remember my senior year of college Bird started paying people to pick these up on campus, charge them overnight at their campus houses and paid them a couple extra dollars. I lived in a giant triplex that we absolutely did not pay for electricity in with a bunch of athletes who I'm sure weren't paying a dollar for rent and we made an extra couple hundred bucks before the landlord caught us. Some would say we were early to NIL at the University of Minnesota from this side hustle. 

One time I forgot to lock the scooter after use and it just sat idly on campus and collected a like $120 charge that I did not have money to pay for. They did refund me so I always had a soft spot in my heart for them. Then they got banned on campus completely because people would just throw them into the river like a bunch of dickheads and ruined a nice thing we had going. The craziest part about these things was how fast they actually went with no license or training to say otherwise. Over twenty miles an hour with no helmet riding through campus riddled with potholes? I'm no lawyer, but you could tell me the reason for bankruptcy was a billion lawsuits and I'd believe you. 

The truth is that companies like this that require a wholesome society would never work long-term. We can't have nice things. NYC's model of Citi Bikes runs surprisingly well and you still see them thrown on the sidewalk away from their dock often. It's time we bid adieu, and await the Netflix documentary that will be made on its collapse:

Goodnight sweet prince.