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The PornHub 2023 Year in Review Is Here - Abella Danger Continues Her Dominance, Grandmas Surge, And The United States' Dynasty Rolls On

It's my favorite time of the year. I can pretty much type however many words into this blog and get a bazillion clicks without fail. Yes, it's the PornHub Year in Review. 

Realistically you're not gonna read much of this, but just know the effort is there. You'll read the trends, the U.S. map, and the top 5 pornstars. A tradition like no other. It's a time when we see where our sick, demented, broken minds have wandered to when it comes to the world of porn. All insights can be found here. I'm going to now pray no one sees what I'm researching and writing on my laptop for the next hour or so. Here's to hoping the amount of links in this blog doesn't break the website. 

Let's get the obvious out of the way first, we're still top dog and always will be.

Honestly when the day arrives where we get dethroned here I think it's time to hang it up as a country. Does it hurt to lose the World Baseball Classic when the sport is our national past time? Yes. If we ever fall in Olympics Flag Football it'll be a low moment for sure. But losing the PornHub most watched battle is something that cannot ever happen. The Philippines is gaining on us though. Not sure what's going on there, but they have my attention. 

Now to the trends. Here's where it gets…weird. 

I'm afraid to ask Nate how much grandma porn he watched in the calendar year. 132% and 168% increases from Granny and DILF? Seeing that as the top trend in 2023 porn is perplexing to say the least. Super Size makes sense, Americans just love large things. 

Sex machines is where I begin to dial the police. Who the fuck is hopping onto the Hub and looking up "3D Robot?" NPC? 'Free Guy' came out in 2021, so it's not like people blew their load over Ryan Reynolds in that one and then immediately opened up the laptop. I'm pointing the finger at Karime. 

Is this the true beginning of us submitting to the machines? AI is here and taking over slowly but surely. We just gonna start fucking robots out in the open soon? Sadly, I don't think the answer is no. Uniforms is fair. We've unfortunately got multiple wars going on and people love roleplay. Honestly surprised that's not number one. Sexual healing is acceptable. Everyone is in therapy these days and fantasizing about that kinda stuff. I'm just flabbergasted on grandma porn and the robots.

Alright now to even stranger stuff. 

I personally don't find myself looking for non-humans when it comes to porn, but to each their own. I gotta say none of these make me call the police, which is a nice surprise. Avatar is tough, but it's better than last year's sixth place holder of Sonic. I still don't understand what happened there. Sonic the Hedgehog porn was something people were actually watching in 2022. 

Okay now for the main course, the U.S. map. 

We're really fucked up people, especially in privacy, but this map always takes it to another level. 

We can't say any more words without addressing whatever the fuck Tennessee has going on with Giantesse. Allow Vice to enlighten us

Giantess content can take on many forms. Often, it plays up not only the idea of a woman being extremely tall and large but of a man being teeny-tiny. So tiny, in fact, that said giantess could pick him up in her fingers and swallow him whole or step on him like a bug. Some may like the idea of worshiping a woman whose stature matches her powerful attitude, while others prefer the concept of being destroyed. Regardless, it typically falls into the broader genre of femdom, or female domination, wherein the woman takes the dominant role over a man. 

It’s this transcendence of meaning that defines the giantess fetish, too. It represents a desire-driven transformation, either of the woman into a giant or the man into a miniature form. Above all, though, it is a transformation that could really only occur through our phones. While we’ve been able to visualize giants in film or through animation, our phones now allow any of us to become gigantic by playing around with the cameras and posting it to TikTok. It is a fetish that is nearly impossible to execute IRL without a good dose of imagination and creativity, but what’s available on social media, Reddit, or Clips4Sale makes it feel almost real enough. 
Yeah I'm never going to look at Big T the same again. 

Some other notes while we try to forget whatever just happened. 

-Body swap. Is that like in the movies 'The Change Up' and 'Freaky Friday?' That's what we're craving, New York? 

-North Dakota choosing 'loud wet sex' makes me uncomfortable. 

-How about some appreciation for Pennsylvania and Kentucky for 'big boobies' and 'bouncing boobies.' Sometimes playing the hits is all you need. 

-There's something about Kirk Cousins playing football in the state that loves tickling porn that makes sense to me. 

-The narcism on Nevada, Hawaii, and Utah is worthy of an eye-roll. Get a little creative, people. 

-Oklahoma made the natural leap from anime to sex dick. Just kidding, I have no idea what that is and no, I'm not searching it. 

-Trent going from creampie to cartoon porn is upsetting. Might have to be a conversation there.

 Here's an actual blog cleanser to close us out —the top 5 pornstars of 2023. 

Let's start from 5 and countdown to 1. Spoiler alert, Mia Khalifa didn't crack the top 5 in a year where she made a ton of controversial headlines. Tough look. Thought she was a lock here and I was going to have to put in some pictures and gifs I didn't want to. Crisis averted. 

Number 5 is a new face to this list and someone who has been on the rise for a few years now — Violet Myers

Number 4 — A familiar face, Lana Rhoades. Her days as number one seem to be gone, but a top 5 finish here is admirable. 

Update: Lost in looking at lists and scouring Instagrams I somehow put Riley Reid pics in here. She was 6th, so I guess I kept seeing her name and it messed with my dumb brain. Hold please while I fix. Dammit. We'll leave a few Riley Reid in here for the hell of it. 

Apologies to Lana.

3 —Eva Elfie. She seems poised to stay near the top for a while. 

2 — Angela White, and if you don't think the Only Stans bump from Balls is the reason for this surge then you're just not paying attention

And number 1 for the second year in a row, ladies and gentlemen, Abella Danger. I have no idea why it's so difficult to embed any of her photos in here, but maybe that's why she's got the crown. Had to go off fake IG accounts to give the people what they want. Either way, she's a generational superstar. The Juan Soto of porn. Back to back years at the top and no end in sight. We'll finish out the blog with a tribute to the top of the game. I will now be wiping my search history for the amount of research this blog took. 

Ethan Miller. Getty Images.