The Barstool Golf Time App | Book Tee Times and Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

There's Not A Hot Enough Place In Hell To Send Anybody Who Boils Their Ribs

There's a good chance I'm falling directly into a trap here. I know there's an entire genre on the internet of cooking videos which are solely intended to drive engagement by pissing the shit out of people with how egregiously awful it is. In other words--hate watching. And part of me wants to believe that nobody in this world is so awful at life that they would resort to boiling up a pot of water to cook a rack of ribs. But another part of me....well another part of me knows that there are some truly terrible people in this world. 

Some people are terrible because they are evil, and they want to cause pain and harm to others. Other people are terrible just because they're really dumb and don't know any better. I can't, for the life of me, figure out which category to put someone who would boils ribs into. All I do know is that if heaven and hell do exist, then they deserve to spend eternity in the most horrid depths of hell. If you boils ribs, your soul deserves to get charred up like this. 

And here's the thing--when Frankie Boy Flem charred the shit out of those ribs, at least he was trying. They may have turned out inedible, but that's just because the Kona grill mat fucked up, Grill Daddy brushes are shit, and a bevy of user error. He wasn't fundamentally flawed in his approach. Had he not ramped that grill up to 700 degrees, they would have been perfectly acceptable ribs. 

Boiling ribs and then finishing them in the oven with the saddest drizzle of Sweet Baby Ray's is the most abhorrent behavior imaginable. Sub-human, even. 

Obviously a smoker is going to be the preferred way to cook your ribs. Low and slow, plenty of time to develop flavor and tenderness. It's just perfect. I understand that not everybody has a smoker, so cooking them on the grill is going to be your next best bet. But maybe you live in a city and don't have any outdoor space for even a grill. An oven isn't ideal, but you can still do it in a way that'll produce some great tasting ribs that are juicy and tender. Under no circumstances ever, not even if there's nuclear warfare, should you ever drop a rack of ribs into a boiling pot of water. 

@meatsweatsbbq_

@JordieBarstool