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Plot? Character Development? Nope, The New Godzilla x Kong Blockbuster Is Just Giving Us Giant Monsters Mashing For a Few Hours And There's Nothing Wrong With That

Like I said the other day, it's as good of a time as ever to be a Godzilla nut like myself. The Apple TV series is in the middle of their first season. Toho's 'Godzilla Minus One' film just made its US debut to a near perfect reception (see review here). Now we have the trailer to the next Godzilla-Kong mashup coming out next spring. 

Official synopsis:

This latest entry follows up the explosive showdown of Godzilla vs. Kong with an all-new cinematic adventure, pitting the almighty Kong and the fearsome Godzilla against a colossal undiscovered threat hidden within our world, challenging their very existence – and our own. The epic new film will delve further into the histories of these Titans, their origins and the mysteries of Skull Island and beyond, while uncovering the mythic battle that helped forge these extraordinary beings and tied them to humankind forever.

Upon first glance, I mean of course take my fucking money. You don't even need to show me a trailer if we're being honest. I'm a man with simple requests. Just tell me it's a Godzilla-Kong monster blockbuster and I'm there on opening night with a smile on my face. 

Now one thing is for certain with these Legendary Pictures movies –they've decided to go full popcorn film. You want monsters going at it? Here's all of that. Unlike with 'Godzilla Minus One' I don't care for any of these human characters and their stories. Legendary does a pretty piss poor job of that so they're shifting to solely giving us monsters mash the shit out of each other. Looks like Kong has some infinity gauntlet on for christ's sake. You go see this and get to loosen your brain a bit to escape all reality. There's no problem with that at all. If we're going to have two different Godzilla movies in a four month span they need to be completely different. We're getting that. 

That being said, I'm a little worried. As a full-on Godzilla stan, I really don't care too much for Kong. He kinds bores me. If he's the main character of the movie with the big guy taking a step back I'm gonna be annoyed. They also changed Godzilla, which I'm not about. I'm sure they'll say he evolved and the pink spikes produce some kind of cool addition to his arsenal. I much prefer the original shit. The 2014 Godzilla was menacing. Even the KOTM was awesome to me. 

Now with ever movie that comes out we're getting further and further away from that. I mean come on.

Also what's with the running in the trailer? I get that the visual of Kong and Godzilla moving together as a team to take down this Scar King fella is just good ol' fun, but Godzilla is a walker. He takes his time and then obliterates you with his atomic breath. I don't care for this wrinkle. It's kinda goofy. 

We're still four months away from the release so they've got time to clean shit up, but this is the first Godzilla trailer that I'm kinda not jumping out of my seat for. Hoping I'm proven wrong next April. I'll be there no matter what, I just have my concerns that's all. It's also entirely possible I'm so freshly removed from seeing the masterpiece that was Godzilla Minus One was that I can't rework my brain to love this yet. We shall see. In the mean time, go see that film when you have the chance. 

P.S. The whole idea that a giant monkey is a strong enough foe for Godzilla will always make me laugh. Like come on, if he really wanted to end this fight he could do it in a few seconds. Do we forget at the end of KOTM he turned into a walking nuclear bomb and legit melted King Ghidorah? Show Kong that game film and he's running for the hills.