Dumping Them Out: Speed Ranking Songs
Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. I feel like doing something a little different this week. The other night I was laying in bed and someone in a commercial was waving a flag. I thought to myself, "Remember that World Cup song Wavin' Flag?" 18 year old me thought that was the single greatest piece of art that had ever been produced. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me experience all the emotions as a teenager. Idk what it was about that song, but it fucking ruled. I listened to it again to see if it held up, and boy does it ever.
I don't know if anybody else experiences this, but sometimes I'll go really long stretches of time where I only listen to podcasts. Which you should do too. Specifically Barstool Sports podcasts. But then after like a 3 month period of only podcasts I'll listen to music again and think, "Holy shit.. music is so fucking good." Like somehow I had forgotten about music or something. It's very stupid. I actually think there's a direct correlation between how happy I am, and how much I'm listening to music. When I'm in a good mood, I listen to music. But when I'm sad, or stressed, I'm more likely to listen to a podcast to distract my brain from having real thoughts. Kind of like this meme.
Anyways, I've decided to listen to music again. I must be in the holiday spirit. Meaning it's time to do a speed rankings of songs that most blew my mind when I first heard them. These aren't necessarily the best songs ever, they're just songs that grab you on the first listen. Songs that are instant bangers. I think. Idk I just wanted to post some music that I like. In many cases, these are songs get so overplayed that you end up hating them.
Closer - Chainsmokers
Closer by the Chainsmokers might have the world record for song that was overplayed the fastest. I was so excited the first time I heard it because I thought I had discovered something new. I thought I had something original to show people. I was wrong. There's probably like 5 Chainsmokers songs you could put on this list. Roses is my personal favorite, but it didn't have the same impact as Closer did.
Rich Girl - Hall & Oates
It's a shame Holland Oats hate each other now. When I first heard this song as a young child I thought to myself, "This is going to slap so hard at my wedding" (my last name is Rich). It couldn't be more perfect. But then my younger brother had to go be an asshole and get married before me. Him and his wife walked out to this at his reception. Now I'm engaged, but I feel like I can't even use it at my wedding because he already did it.
I also really want to hear a rapper sample this. Put the words over a trap beat then rap verses between the choruses. That would go extremely hard.
Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega
That's one of the catchiest melodies of all time. There's like 100 versions of it. It's sampled all over the place too, and it hits every time.
Dear Maria - All Time Low
I love when songs do the thing where the first 2 or 3 choruses are sung in the same style, but then the last chorus they switch up the cadence and ramp it up. Like they're really putting their whole ass into that final chorus. Dear Maria does that… "I got your picture I'm coming WITH YOU.."
Lil Wayne does the same thing in Duffle Bag Boyz. He sounds like he's going to pass out when he's rapping the last chorus. It's awesome. Fuck it I'll throw that song in here too. Doesn't necessarily fit this bill but I really like it.
People forget that 2 Chainz was in that.
Country Grammar - Nelly
I'm pretty sure this was my introduction to rap music. Nelly was the perfect first rapper for a young kid to listen to because he kind of sang everything, so it wasn't quite as far removed from whatever regular music you grew up on. Although the lyrics were crazy inappropriate. "I'm goin' down, down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover. Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go" (i.e. I'm coming to your street and shooting everybody with my gun). It sounded cute though.
Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil' Wayne
This song was made for this list. There was a 3 year stretch of time where you couldn't escape it. "It's Lil' Wayne but he's rock n' roll you're gonna love it." That was a weird time for Lil Wayne'. It was around then that he released that random rock album. The Album (Rebirth) almost exclusively sucked balls. But Let It Rock was pretty sick.
Good Day - Nappy Roots
I'm stuck on rap music now, but I had to include this. I'm a huge sucker for kids singing the chorus of rap songs. I thought about throwing Hard Knock Life on here where Jay-Z has the kids from Annie singing. But Good Day is catchier.
Paper Planes - M.I.A.
Ok this is not quite a rap song at least. I'm having a harder time thinking of songs that I thought I would. I'm certainly leaving out the best ones. But that's what speed rankings are all about. It's the first songs that come to mind. Paper Planes belongs here though. It perfectly coincides with when I started smoking weed. Great memories of sitting in my friend Pat's parent's empty for sale house smoking bongs and drinking Polar Pops. We trashed that place. After like 6 months his dad finally went to check on the house and it was just a mess. He was so pissed. Trash piled up to the ceiling. We were huge pieces of shit. Listened to this song a lot there.