Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premieres Monday (12/4) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1-3 NOW

Only A Dumb Dumb Would Actually Have Thought Snoop Dogg Was Serious About Giving Up Smoking Weed

Imagine seriously thinking Calvin Broadus Jr. was actually going to quit smoking weed? 

That would be like fish saying, they're giving up water. Like Keegs saying she was done writing 10 Taylor Swift blogs a day. Like Gaz saying he was quitting 21-year-old chicks. 

There's no fucking chance this would ever happen because none of these things are physically able to exist without the other.

Snoop Dogg has been smoking weed, and so much of it, for so fucking long, I don't think his respiratory system can function on oxygen alone. 

I know you're not going to believe it, but we actually had some of these people who fell for this here at Barstool.

For starters, there was John Rich's braintrust last week when this "news" broke.

(Credit to Hubbs though for calling that this was a marketing gimmick. He’s been in the Internet game too long to be fooled)

Then there was Gia who didn't necessarily buy it 100%, but was more shocked than she was doubtful.

As for me and the Backstage boys, we smelled this bullshit from a mile away.

First off, he deliberately went out of his way to not mention "weed" or marijuana or whatever and said he was "giving up the smoke". That was red flag #1. 

Red flag #2 was him issuing this ridiculous statement seemingly out of nowhere. 

There were no recent health scares. No major interviews where he was asked about his exorbitant smoking habits in relation to his health, or anything. Very random and out of left field.

Red flag #3, 4, - 100 is the fact that Snoop Dogg loves weed and getting high more than you or I love anything in this entire world. 

Think about how much you love your actual pet dog. A fucking ton right? Well Snoop Dogg loves smoking blunts that much times a hundred thousand. 

Just look at the search results from stories published here on Barstool from the past couple of years.

When Kevin Hart was in hot water over statements he made being taken out of context, Snoop's advice to him was "smoke some weed and tell the haters to suck your dick."

Ed Sheeran, a pretty major celebrity, recently tried to keep up with Snoop smoking weed one night and got so high he almost went blind.

How does Snoop maintain a packed schedule of media appearances, and staying actively on people's radars, while also managing to stay high 24 hours a day? He has people on his payroll whose sole job it is to roll blunts for him. Obviously.

This last one doesn't really play into how much Snoop depends on weed to function, I just think it's fucking hilarious. Trent blogged this a while back. Snoop got so high that he thought this picture somebody made of him smoking weed with Curt Kobain was actually real and happened in real life

p.s.- people forget Snoop Dogg's "interesting" pivot into reggae as "Snoop Lion". And his awful song titled "Smoke The Weed"

p.s. - As much as people wanna roll their eyes at another marketing campaign that got major headlines for fooling gen pop, I'm not going to be that guy. And it's not even because Solo Stove has been a faithful Barstool advertiser for years and helps keep the lights on around here. It's because Solo Stove's are fucking incredible. No joke, my ex and I bought one back when they first came out because they looked to good to be true from the internet commercials. But they weren't. They burn so fucking clean, and so hot, that there's somehow barely any smoke produced, and barely any ash left over. It's crazy. The first one was so good on our rooftop in Chicago that we got one for the beach house in Michigan and told anybody who asked what they were that they were worth every penny. If you camp, like sitting around a campfire, live in a city with no real ability to have a fire on your rooftop or backyard, or love the perfect campfire marshmallow, you should get yourself a Solo Stove. 

Call me an idiot all you want, but would Large and Mrs. Large lie to you?