Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premieres Monday (12/4) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1-3 NOW

Lighten the Fuck Up! It Started as an Innocent Trip Into the City to Pick up his Wife's New Dress...

Giphy Images.

Norman, a retired bank manager, drove Ruth, his wife of 42 years, into the city to pick up the new dress she ordered… 

It was a beautiful evening, and they had a lovely drive in, but they couldn't find a place to park. After driving around a while, they found a short side street close to the dress shop, and Norman agreed to wait in the car while Ruth went into the dress shop just in case any meter maids decided to ticket the car for illegal parking. 

After he shut the car, he put on sports talk radio. A short while later, there was a tapping sound on the car window, and when he looked up, he saw a sexy young prostitute wearing only undergarments and high heels, carrying a leather whip, and motioning for him to lower the window… 

Once he got over the initial shock, he rolled the window down and was immediately overwhelmed by the prostitute's heavily perfumed scent. “Wanna go a ride, sugar?” she asked aggressively. 

“Certainly not, young lady! I'm a respected man in this town and want no part in anything you're suggesting!” Norman snapped.

“Suit yourself, old man…” the prostitute said as she began walking away with a backside and a swagger Norman found quite alluring… 

“Just out of curiosity…" he stammered, "What… what would I get for, say…a 20?” 

“Twenty dollars?” she gasped in mockery. "You won't get anything decent for 20 bucks round here, you frugal old man!” And then she stormed off, shaking her head and everything below it. 

Norman's heart began pounding, realizing the uncharacteristic predicament he almost got into, and he was slow to regain his composure. A short while later, Ruth returned and got back in the car. 

“Everything alright, dear? You look a little flustered…”

“No, I'm fine,” he responded, as a single bead of sweat dripped from his forehead onto his lap.

“Good,” she replied. “Let's go home, and I'll show you how beautiful the new dress looks on me!” 

He started the car and was about to drive away when there was a tapping on the window, but it was a little harder this time. When he looked up, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Standing at the window was the same prostitute he had spoken to earlier, and she was pointing angrily at his wife and motioning for him to lower the window.

“Oh, Sweet Lord, please save me,” he whispered under his breath, immediately becoming uncomfortable with the predicament he thought had ended. 

“You better lower the window, dear,” Ruth insisted, “something could be wrong with that young girl. She may need our help…” 

As soon as the window started opening, the prostitute thrust her hand into the car, pointed at Norman's elderly wife, and shouted, “See, old man, I tried to tell ya you wouldn't get anything decent round here for 20 bucks!" 


Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU Joke #210!

Just in case you missed the last one…