Good Lord, what hack conjured up this diarrhea milkshake? Sony keeps trying to create their own Spider-Verse made up of villains that nobody gives a shit about. Last I checked, Madame Webb doesn't have that much of a following. I don't even know who enjoys these movies. I think the Venom movies have something of a following. That is baffling to me. It doesn't get talked about enough how bad those movies are. "Venom: Let There Be Carnage" actually gave me a headache and despite it trying to be an action comedy, I legitimately think my rehab blog was funnier.
In 2022, we got "Morbius," which became a modern meme, and now we're getting "Madame Webb," starring Dakota Johnson. It looks like balls. I don't know, man; I know that I have a more critical eye than most people, but who is asking for this? Who is excited about this? Who thinks this looks good? The trailer isn't even well put together. I know that Marvel has hit a wall with their movies over the last few years, but at least they know how to market a film. At least their trailers look cool. This looks like a 13-year-old's version of what he thinks an edgy Marvel movie should look like.
I don't know a whole lot about Madame Webb lore, but it seems to me like Dakota Johnson is really miscast in this. She's a talented actress, but I'm not buying her in the lead role here at all. I've been on record saying I think Sydney Sweeney's going to be one of the biggest movie stars in the world, but I might have to rescind that take if she keeps being in crap like this.
Look, maybe the movie is going to surprise some people. I have serious doubts that it will. I don't think Sony has any idea what they're doing. I wrote a blog last week about ways to fix the MCU, and one thing I brought up is that I feel like we're simply running out of characters. I know that Iron Man wasn't necessarily a mainstream character back in 2008, but he was at least on the B list. Sony keeps trying to take F list of villains and make them in the stars. Also, "He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died" might be the funniest trailer line of 2023. The film comes out on Valentine's Day. I'm counting down the days.