We Almost Had Our First Fist Fight On The Floor Of The Senate This Morning Until Bernie Sanders's Old Ass Stepped In

Fucking Bernie, man. Is this even America anymore? We had two consenting adults ready to square up to settle a dispute that started online. That sounds like mutual combat to me. Bernie Sanders friends didn't die in World War II for him to step in and stop these guys from fighting. America was built on guys settling it the old fashioned way. You know why Alexander Hamilton was never elected President? Because his hands weren't fast enough. Died in a mother fucking duel. You know how Andrew Jackson got elected? He challenged over 100 men to duels. You had a problem with Andrew Jackson? Well you better get your dueling gloves out. Just dueled his way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. And you know what...we had a more informed citizenry back then. The public was interested in the goings on in Washington. They had a reason to grab the paper. Headline with a fight, and you've hooked everyone. Two guys being pissy in congress? Snooze. Two guys got in a fist fight...tell me everything about how it started and how it finished. And how it finished...whoever won the fight was right. Might is right. Get me in the chamber with the chairman of the Fed and I guarantee that interest rate is coming down.