The Breakdown Of Jimbo Fisher's Buyout Looks Like The Start Of The Greatest Life Ever

Just look at that. All Jimbo Fisher needed to do was get canned in order to live the best life in America.

Every big-time college football coach's buyout is insane, but this one is in its own category. In the next few months, Fisher gets nearly $27 million, which on its own would be enough to make a grown man weep tears of joy. But he then receives seven annual installments of $7 million, which would put him among the 20 highest-paid coaches in the country this season. And again, all of this money is to not coach.

There was also somehow no offset language in Fisher's contract, meaning if there's some school out there insane and desperate enough to hire him, he could go make $5 million somewhere else and still receive 100 percent of his buyout money. To be clear, however, if someone ever gives you $77 million to get fired, that should be your last day of work forever. Go find whatever beach, lake and mountain homes you like, buy one of each and rotate amongst them for the next 30 years.

Advertisement

If Fisher is a man of honor, though, he'd write Jameis Winston a check for at least $10 million. Winston is the only reason Fisher has had a lengthy career and if you can believe it, Fisher's buyout is more money than WInston has made in his NFL career.

Fisher probably owes Jameis more than half of this money, but if he has any integrity whatsoever, he'll give him at least a nice chunk.

Good for Jimbo, man. This puts you on the Mt. Rushmore of bag-getting. Enjoy it.