I want everyone to know that I'm currently seeing double. I'm not drunk or high on drugs, I just can't see. I just cracked a drink tho so I should be back to normal in 10 minutes. Today is Friday, my second favorite day of the week, which means I'm going to get after it tonight. So allow me to show you my 5 favorite things to do on Friday.
5. Get a haircut
This is pretty straight forward, if you're not getting a fresh cut on Friday, you don't want it enough. You simply can't go out looking like a bag of lays chips. No girl wants to talk to some guy who's beard looks like a bush from the 1980's. Confidence is essential if you want to muck clam. Sack up, pay the $40-60, and be a beast.
4. Leave Work Early
Before I worked at Barstool, I would stare at the clock all day long. Now, it's not as bad because I do love what I do. But there's nothing I love more than starting early on a Friday. So do the right thing and leave work early. Will they fire you? If you're good at your job, probably not. It's hard to find people who are wiling to work. So if you're half decent at your job leave early and get after it.
3. Dump Sack
If you know you know.
2. Bar Crawl
I was never meant to be a D1 athlete, but man was I born to bar crawl. Nothing gets my meat up like a good bar crawl. It's just you and your soldiers versus every bar tender in the city. I don't know about you, but me and the lads are undefeated never lost! Tom Brady might have 7 rings but he can't crawl to 7 different spots, and that's a fact! I love walking into the first bar of the night ordering your first drink, looking over at your boys and giving them that "strap the fuck in boys it's going to be one of those nights" look. Nothing has to be said, the look is all you need.
1. Getting in the endzone
I have a golden rule in my life. If you go out and score the money you spent was worth it. If you go out and end up cuddling your pillow you're a loser. Now, there's nothing wrong with being a loser, if we all scored every time we went out, no one would be married. You gotta take your loses, they teach you valuable lessons. As my father once told, that one yes makes up for all those no's and I live by that. So gentlemen, when you and your boys take that first sip, don't be scared to get in the batters box. Walk your ass into that box and swing for the fences.