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LeBron "The Chosen One" James is Opening Up a Museum for Himself

Congratulations to The Chosen One. You've officially become the first person in the history of people to have an entire museum dedicated to them before they turned 40. 

I'm sure that's not true, but he's gotta be one of the few. A museum before you turn 40? I thought it was crazy when the Richard Geer museum opened up back in 2018. But even Richard was almost 70 years old. Congratulation LeBron. Nobody deserves an entire museum dedicated to himself, funded by an organization started by himself (The James Foundation) more than LeBron James. 

NBA - The museum is at House Three Thirty, a facility started by James' foundation to serve the community where he was raised.

"My dream was always to put Akron on the map, so to have a place in my hometown that allows me to share my journey with my fans from all over the world means a lot to me," James said. "I've been known to hang on to a lot of things over the years, and I always knew there would be a time and place to bring them out."

Among the items on display will be the all-white suit James wore at the 2003 NBA draft, his jersey from the McDonald's All American Game and an original backboard and rim from St. Vincent-St. Mary High School, where James first caught the attention of basketball fans as a teenager.

Everyone is going to hate this. LeBron James opening a museum for himself is such a LeBron ass story. He's the self-declared chosen one. He does weird cringy things like this every day. He makes shitty posts with too many emojis, pretends to know about books, shove his father of threeness down out throats, etc. But opening a museum for yourself is objectively hilarious. Not that LeBron realizes how hilarious it is. I'm sure he thinks it's cool and deserving. And yes you can make the whole argument about the museum bringing money to the city of Akron, along with all the good things the James Foundation does for humanity, blah blah blah. But if you take a step back and look at the thing as a whole, a man opening a museum for himself is very very funny. Even if it sounds like it's literally just LeBron moving his belongings into a storage unit and calling it a museum. 

So while we're on the topic. If we're just going to start opening museums for still living people, I have some people in mind who could use one. 

The Dave Portnoy Museum

For obvious reason. He's a media mogul, built an amazing company from the ground up, savior of small businesses, I want to keep my job, the list goes on and on. I could just walk around the Barstool New York office myself and take enough shit off the walls to start the museum myself. That's maybe something to consider. 

The Tom Brady Museum

Let me just get the sucking up to my boss portion out of the way, because I know he reads all of my blogs thoroughly. If LeBron has a museum, Tom Brady deserves one too. We can have Jerry Thornton be the docent. I've been reading Jerry's blogs lately, and I didn't realize until recently that he's a crazier Patriots fan than Dave. Yesterday he wrote a blog to basically just remind everyone how the Manning's stole 4 Super Bowls from Tom Brady. Jerry should be in charge of the whole Tom Brady museum. 

Peyton Manning Museum

Sure, Peyton can have one too. We'd include everything from his Heisman trophy, to his Super Bowl, to that incident with a trainer back in his Tennessee days. 

The Steve Harvey Museum

You can never have enough good things to say about Steve Harvey. The greatest entertainer in the history of entertainment. The man can crush for 10 minutes straight using nothing but facial expressions. He's an actor, a game show host, a judge, and most importantly (I know I've referenced this book 100 times before but I will never stop laughing at it) an author.

Hunter Biden Museum

Every day I look at the New York Post to acquire a blog and/or Rundown topics, and every day I see a new shirtless crack smoking picture of Hunter Biden that I've never seen before. I just know that the New York Post has a treasure trove of scandalous Hunter Biden pics. I want to see the Hunter Biden dudes rock folder all in one museum.

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Darren Rovell

His collection of memorabilia would put the National Museum of African American History to shame.

The Michael Vick Museum

He's had an eventful life. People forget that more dogs are alive today because of Michael Vicks existence. He's donated millions of dollars to dog charities, which has definitely saved more dogs than he ever killed. Not that he wasn't a huge piece of shit for what he did, but I'm pretty sure that's just a fact.

The Steve-O-Museum

He came into the office today so I have him on my mind. We could just do a whole museum of things that have been up his ass. Similar to the main attraction at The Richard Geer Museum.

Emily Ratijkowski

Did you see that full frontal photo shoot she did? If not you should look it up. It popped up on Reddit for me the other day. I don't think I'm allowed to link it. I don't even know if that's a new thing or if it's years old, but I saw it for the first time the other day. My god does that deserve a museum.