Rockstar Announced A GTA 6 Trailer Is Coming, And Now So Am I

I'll admit that I debated the blogworthiness of this story before clicking New Post in Barstool's publishing system that looks like it's been around since the first GTA was released. But if the NFL announcing when they will announce the upcoming season's schedule is considered news in this weird world we live in, then Rockstar announcing a vague date of when they will drop a trailer for a game people have been waiting for seemingly forever qualifies to have some digital ink dropped on this online smut rag.

Besides let's be honest. At this point massive video game releases are bigger than any other media release if you are basing it on audience size, earning potential, or pretty much any other indicator. You can tell me that GTA V ended up literally making a zillion dollars for Rockstar over the last decade and I would believe you without even knowing how many more commas are in a zillion than a billion. It could be one, two, or ten and I still think it'd be possible considering how much they milked that game and how many gamers continue to play it.

Anyway, this trailer has to be the most anticipated trailer of all-time, right? Going back to the NFL schedule analogy, this would be like if we didn't know if another NFL season was actually going to happen for years, they finally admitted it after someone leaked a couple of pages from the upcoming season's script, then finally said they were going to announce the schedule at the end of a four tweet thread (No offense Sam Hauser but I don't remember a single word you wrote in the three previous tweets that were the epitome of burying the lede).

I think it will be impossible for me to hate this trailer unless it shows absolutely zero game play or has a release date some point in the 2030s. However, the bar has been set for GTA trailers by a commercial I saw so many times in 2002 that I now associate the classic song "I Ran" with doing a bunch of hoodrat shit in a video game set in a fictional Miami during the 80s with my college roommates.


Quick sidenote: I remember going to my buddies' townhouse at 5 AM looking to cause some ruckus while they were sleeping and instead having half the house wide awake playing Vice City at that unimaginable hour. God I am jealous of all the college studentes that get to spend wayyyyyy too much of their time playing GTA VI with a horde of their closest friends. I guess I will be able to do that with my kids, but I will have the inevitable war with my conscience about if it's okay my 6-year-old son just went on his third killing spree of the day as his 9-year-old sister cheered him on.

Apologies for the rambling there. I'm just truly excited the new trailer is officially coming out and thankful this long-rumored but never confirmed sequel won't just fizzle into thin air like Dr. Dre's Detox did (Don't you dare say Compton was Detox because nobody can name a single song off that album less than 10 years later while The Chronic and 2001 still get played from front-to-back).

P.S. The only acceptable way to play GTA with a group is to keep playing until you fail a mission, get arrested, or die. I had one buddy who would just steal a sweet car and do jumps the entire time, which didn't lead to anything happening other than people watching him do that nonsense for hours. Don't be that guy, also known as a Viv, if you are playing GTA with other people.

P.P.S. I'll end every GTA-related blog for the rest of my life saying that Rockstar should be forced by the United Nations to have a GTA ready for release at any time in case a global pandemic breaks out. 2020 would have been at least 50% better less shitty if we were all playing GTA together.

Now I'll wrap things up for the sickos that made it to the end of this blog with some GTA V highlights.