The Video Of Frank The Tank Being Caressed By NHL Mascots Is The Most Unbelievable Video You'll See Potentially Ever
I'm not totally sure what I just watched but it seems somewhat illegal. Dave said it correctly in that it might be the most mesmerizing video of all time. And why am I the first to blog this? Did we stop blogging electric internet videos? Perhaps, but not this AI blogger. I don't know what weird porn fetish I'm watching, but I'm half part uncomfortable and half part entertained. I sit across from Frank 5 days a week in the office and I couldn't tell you a time I've seen him happier. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Are we ever going to hire Jenks? This guy went from buying courtside Knicks tickets for each member of the Yak to potentially sniff Cheah's ballsack to being Frank's personal handler. Someone give this man a salary. I'd mention how he might potentially be selling ads on Frank's accounts and negotiating ad deals on the side which may or may not be a violation of Barstool content code but I digress. If we get videos like this, it's 100% worth it.
I genuinely think I'm on shrooms watching this. It's just such a fever dream of a video I can't believe it. There's some sicko out there with a furry fetish that is going to town tonight courtesy of Jenks and Tank. I like looking at the replies of viral tweets and this guy hit the nail on the head:
It's 12:30 AM at the time of this blog and I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight. For the record, why the fuck was the Kraken mascot at a 4-3 Devils win against the Minnesota Wild? And why is Frank giggling like that? I don't know but this is both nightmare fuel and pure electricity. Fuck man. Dave did it again by giving Frank a full time content contract. He's a star. I'm getting off the internet for tonight. Tank's world, we're just living in it.