Kasi Flava, South Africa Has Soccer Figured Out Better Than Everyone Else

I had no idea this style of soccer existed until last night when I came across that TikTok. I was laying in bed (at a reasonable time for once) fully ready to get a great night's sleep. But then I discovered "Kasi Flava" and spent the next 90 minutes going down the rabbit hole. 

As I understand it "The Kasi" refers to a neighborhood in South Africa primarily lived in by black families. And it appears that there's a particular style of soccer that originated there. I love it so much. These kids rule. I bet those stupid prep school kids were expecting the Kasi kids to try and "score goals" like fucking losers. Miss me with that boring shit. Who says soccer should be about goals? That's just what Big Soccer wants you to think. Soccer is about being fancy, and about prancing around the pitch like ballerina. It's about stiffly waving your arms around and dropping to your knees for no reason what so ever. It's about looking like you're having a stroke for the duration of the match. 

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So cocky. These guys are strictly there to try and embarrass their opponents with the most asinine skills they can think of. It's like the AND1 mixtape tour for soccer. 

Of all the highlights I've watched I don't think I've seen a single shot on goal. Apparently that's not important. I've also learned that this style of soccer is a bit of a controversial issue in South Africa. Some people think it's disrespectful to soccer. People think it's holding back the growth of the game in South Africa. They say things like "this is why South Africa doesn't qualify for the World Cup." But who gives a shit. Sports are supposed to be fun, and if this is how they want to use their skills, then more power to them. That's the same problem I have every time I play FIFA. Whenever I play my friends, I'll spend the whole game mashing the trick stick, trying to pull off the craziest moves I can. I'll turn the ball over like crazy. I've never learned how to actually score goals efficiently. I'll end up losing 5-1, but that one goal where I rainbow kicked the goalie made the whole thing worth it.

Although I have to imagine there's a lot of legitimate teams in South Africa who have that one guy who insists on playing like this. 10 guys are legitimately trying to score goals, then whenever the ball goes to him the game just comes to a halt he stands on top of the ball and flaps his arms like bird. I bet they hate that guy.