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Congratulations to Women for Finally Breaking the Professional Power Slap Glass Ceiling

If there's a word in the English language that gets overused nowadays, it's "historic." We have an overpowering need to declare that whatever we just did has never been been done in quite the same way, and therefore the world will never be the same. Awards shows are especially guilty of this. Despite the fact they long ago ran out of "historic" subcategories of people to give awards to."Brendan Fraser made history by becoming the first actor who once starred opposite Pauly Shore to win an Oscar while wearing a grotesque fat suit in a morbidly depressing, unwatchable movie no one saw," and so on. 

But every once in a while you get to see true history being made. And last night was one of those moments. When Sheena Bathory defeated Christine Wolmarans by knockout in the first ever women's match in professional Power Slap. The Sport of Kings, now The Sport of Queens. And your reigning champion is Sheena Bathory, aka Francsca Szabo:

If Bathory's name sounds familiar, it may be because you remember her from her other foray into women's martial arts, LIngerie Fighting:

Ethan Miller. Getty Images.
Ethan Miller. Getty Images.
Ethan Miller. Getty Images.

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Ethan Miller. Getty Images.

And now she's officially a multi-sport athlete, in the proud tradition of a Bo Jackson or a Deion Sanders. Taking her talents from the squared circle to Dana White's podium thing. Proving to the world that she can dish it out:

As well as take it:

But dare I say this without sounding like I'm being condescending, in this moment, both these Warrior Princesses are winners. Because they have truly made history. In the long and glorious history of Power Slap, there are never been women competitors until now. They are trailblazers in the tradition of Sacagawea. Pioneering new horizons for their gender like modern day Amelia Earharts. 

No longer will women slapping each other be relegated to Real Housewives shows or fights outside of nightclubs on WorldStar. As of last night, it's now a professional sport. From the gladiator games 2,000 years ago to jousting contests in the Middle Ages to MMA bouts today, humans have always desired to sit in circles and watch men fight. It's in our nature. Finally that has culminated in the chance to watch Bathory and Wolmarans do battle with their open hands. And young girls watching this who've always dreamed of putting a furious palm to an opponent's jaw to the roar of a crowd will get their chance. All thanks to these two Valkyries making actual history. And therefore, we owe them both a debt of gratitude. 

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