How Can People Take Barstool Sports Seriously If We Can't Cleanly Field Ground Balls?
Simply ridiculous. I'm projectile vomiting onto my keyboard as I type. I pre-apologize for the inevitable typos in this blog, but my keys are terribly sticky from the puke that is pouring out of my mouth as a result of watching specifically Chris Klemmer all of my co-workers "field" ground balls.
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It's Banana Land, USA how Vibbs thought this was a good idea to post. Barstool isn't backed by PENN anymore. We don't have a mutli-billion dollar company footing the bill like we used to. We have an image to uphold, and it's on each and every one of us to do our part. A rising tide lifts all boats, but a booted grounder could lead to a disaster (i.e. mass firings). The good readers of Barstool Sports expect a certain level of professionalism when they visit our site. If anyone knows, it's me. I've been an avid Barstool Sports reader for nearly a decade. When I watch Picks Central, I expect Marty Mush to provide me with winners. When I listen to Unnecessary Roughness, I want Kayce Smith to explain to me the pro's and con's of playing a cover 2 against a Caleb Williams-led offense. When I watch Carl play The Dozen, I expect him to be drunk.
But above all, I expect my co-workers to be 5-tool players. Just this morning, Chris Klemmer stressed to me the importance of managing pitch counts throughout a 7 game playoff series. I took what he said to heart. Should the series go 7 games, it's crucial to have your whole bullpen available. If the game goes to extra innings, it could make all the difference in the world. Klemmer told me this, and I believed him.
But then I watched him field a grounder… so what on earth am I supposed to think now? Is it actually better to throw more pitches? Do pitch counts even exist? I have no idea. I've never been more lost. Everything Klemmer has ever told me about baseball is null and void now that I've seen his atrocious fielding technique.
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What on earth are my co-workers doing with their free time? When do you think was the last time they long tossed, or spent 3 hours at the batting cages. These are people who blog about sports for a living. They're PAID to do it. But how am I supposed to believe a word say seriously when their footwork is in shambles.
It's time to be real with ourselves. We're ALL on the chopping block, and nobody is safe except for Frank. We have to be better as a company. I just pray to god Dave doesn't watch this video or else I'll be showing up to an empty office tomorrow. I have half a mind to hold a mandatory week long baseball camp (not for content) and force fundamentals down my friends co-workers throats against their will until we have a passable starting 9. It's for their own good. Until then, if you guys want to stop consuming Barstool content entirely, I wouldn't blame you. Hell, I'd even recommend it. You're better off forming your own takes on the upcoming World Series, because Barstool Sports sure can't help you there.