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Tom Brady and Irina Shayk are Splitsville and He's the GOAT of Eligible Bachelors Once Again

If ever there was an aspect of human existence no one can explain, it's romantic love. Philosophers, poets, songwriters, psychologists … all have tried and failed. It's said that Shakespeare mentioned some variation of the word "love" 2,146 times and he couldn't make sense of it. So what chance does a mediocre talent at a goofy sports blog have? 

All any of us can truly say with confidence is that the heart wants what it wants. And the hearts of Tom Brady and Irina Shayk no longer want each other. After he had once vowed never to date a model again:

She was smitten him according to every witness who was at the wedding where she reportedly threw herself at him. They started dating. Then she blew off her entire social life just to make it work:

Then came her vacation with her ex, Bradley Cooper, where she went Suns Out, Guns Out in St. Somewhere:

Then she and Brady got back together once she returned. That's a lot to pack into just a few months of romance. But sadly now, it's over:

Source - The budding romance between Tom Brady and Irina Shayk apparently is no more.

The relationship between the seven-time Super Bowl champion and the supermodel “fizzled out,” Page Six confirmed.

The report goes on to mention the couple is calling it quits and said that “the signs have been on the wall recently that things were likely over … as each has spent a lot of time in separate cities.”

With so little information, it would be inappropriate and irresponsible for me to speculate about the cause of this breakup. Fortunately, neither appropriateness or responsibility are in my job description, so I'm going to go right ahead and do exactly that. 

It seems pretty clear to me that Brady's first instincts were correct. That dating a supermodel is not all it's cracked up to be. Especially when you've spent 12-plus years on the mountaintop with the most super of them all. The fact she's always running off to some tropical spot somewhere to cover her nips in a hand bra while her ex looks on. Then add to that the business of her blowing off all her friends, just for him. No man wants that. The best thing that can happen to a couple is that each has a life outside the relationship. Which Brady clearly has. 

But as much as anything, I'd say this all goes back to the GOAT reconnecting with his first love:

Like creatures of different species all across the galaxy found out when they tried to come between Captain Kirk and the Enterprise, no woman can compete with a great man's one true love. He never said "I'm Irina Shayk's boyfriend for life!" after all. He's a Patriot again, and always will be. And all you ladies trying to get with him now that he's back on the market are going to have to come to grips with that fact. He's already spoken for. 

I mean, does this look to you like a guy who needs to have a woman in his life?