Update: The Linchpin In The Michigan Sign Stealing Operation Was A Captain In The United States Marines

I don't know what you expected when you clicked on this blog, but if you thought I was going to go scorched Earth on Harbaugh and Michigan for this, then I'm sorry to disappoint you. This story actually makes me respect that program for the first time in my life. Because let's be honest, they had become essentially the laughing stock of college football and the doormat of the Big Ten there for a minute. Remember when Harbaugh went 2-4 in 2020 and hid behind the coronavirus to cancel the Ohio State game because he was scared? Looking back now, it may have actually been because he couldn't send a coach to steal their signs in person...

But anyways, if you think Michigan, a once storied program that sat atop the college football world was going to fight and claw it's way back into the same sentence, let alone paragraph, with the Buckeyes through recruiting and coaching and player development, you don't know anything about how the world works. No, the only way to do it was to cheat. And I tip the cap to Jim Harbaugh for doing it. In fact, if Ryan Day and Ohio State is upset by this story, then I am upset with them. If we're not cheating after losing to Michigan two years in a row, then that's on us. I really hope a report comes out one day that what Michigan did was comparable to writing answers on the inside of your calculator cover compared to the full fledged, world wide cheating scandal the Buckeyes were running this season. We better be cheating. We need it.

Now, as for the update to this story that the staffer going around to games to steal signs has a MILITARY BACKGROUND, I'm laughing out loud. I can just picture it now: Harbaugh enters the locker room after their 2019 season that concluded in getting a 50 burger cooked on them by the Buckeyes and a 20 point Citrus Bowl loss, and he goes, get me the United States Military on the line. We need a spy.

Al Messerschmidt. Getty Images.

The fact that this report is using terms like "linchpin" might be the funniest thing I've ever read. Well, that was the case until I got further in the report and read about this kid's LinkedIn bio:

Stalions, a graduate of the United States Naval Academy, was hired as an off-field analyst at Michigan in May 2022, according to a bio on his LinkedIn account. In the bio, Stalions wrote that he attempts to "employ Marine Corps philosophies and tactics into the sport of football regarding strategies in staffing, recruiting, scouting, intelligence, planning and more."

Again, credit to Harbaugh. He couldn't beat Ohio State in damn near a decade and the only way to fix it was to employ the force of the United States Military, hiring someone who was a Captain in United States Marines. If we don't have any Green Berets on staff in Columbus then shame on Ryan Day. I know Michigan has a good line and a slightly above average QB, but it sounds like this kid has been the real key to their recent success.

"He had one role," said a source with knowledge of Michigan's staff.

I just had to blink and make sure I wasn't sleeping. The quotes from this report are so funny I'm still not sure they are true.

"This is worse than both the Astros and the Patriots -- it's both use of technology for a competitive advantage and there's allegations that they are filming prior games, not just in-game," a Big Ten source said.

Hmmm, what do the Astros and Patriots have in common? Championships. At the end of the day, if you're not cheating, you're not trying. I'm not mad at Michigan at all for this operation. I'm only mad if Ohio State isn't doing the same.