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Judge Denies Sam Bankman-Fried's Request For a Delay of Trial While his Adderall Arrives

I'm sorry your honor, can we please delay trial until my 30 milligrams of amphetamines comes in?

I don't know who this guy is but what a fucking legend. I can't even blame him, if he was my lawyer, I'd want he geeked out of his mind while my life is on the line. As someone who is slow in the head, I get it. Life with adderall just hits different. There's nothing better than popping a fresh 30 milligram piece of crack at 8AM to get your day started. Not only does it turn you into the hulk, but it also helps you save money! Who needs to spend $30 on food when you have a 30 piece in your stomach? Not me! It's a disgrace that millions of Americans can't work to their full potential because they can't get their scripts filled. It's our medicine and we want it now! This poor lawyer is probably dumb as rocks with out his adddy and now his client is going to pay the price. Imagine having to prep for 8 hours and then when trial comes around the only thing you have to get your mind right is a cup of coffee? Fuck that, get this man his script!


Editor's Note: Nicky Smokes rocks. Has no idea who SBF is, didn't look it up, just started writing his blog without knowing 1 thing about the story. His original title said "Judge Denies Guy's..." but we added SBF's name for the clicks. Usually we would have someone else do the blog, but this is the Nicky Smokes Difference.