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The Diamondbacks Fail Miserably At Trying To Recreate The Atmosphere They're Walking Into Tonight At Citizens Bank Park

Tim Nwachukwu. Getty Images.

Bless their hearts. 

There's certainly nothing wrong with the Diamondbacks trying to prepare themselves for a raucous crowd in South Philly tonight. Teams across all sports have piped in crowd noise during practices for years trying to prepare themselves for loud environments. But if having one dude yelling "you stink!" and "Nola's gonna destroy you!" is what Arizona thinks they're in store for…well then they'll be sorely mistaken. 

They're going to have 4th graders telling them to go fuck themselves while flipping them the double bird salute. They're going to have 45,000 fans all bringing up some of the lowest moments of their lives like the DUI chant at Ozuna last series. I don't even know if the phrase "you stink" has ever been uttered at Citizens Bank Park. 

What they needed to do was give a 30-rack to a couple of dudes, tell them to hammer back those beers as fast as possible, and then let them spew the most egregious things out of their mouths that their little blacked out minds could come up with. Then the Diamondbacks would be appropriately prepared for this series. 

This is what Spencer Strider had to deal with a good hour before game 4 started. 

Obviously we all know what happened to Arcia throughout that series. 

And maybe the fact the Diamondbacks are so naive might actually work to their benefit. The shit they'll end up hearing throughout these next two games will be so foreign to them that they won't even know how to respond. It takes a while for your brain to comprehend that a 10-year-old is emphatically calling you a piece of shit. But I have a feeling the last thing they'll want after spending 48 hours in Philly will be to get on a plane to come back for games 6&7. Phillies in 5.