4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE


Victor Wembanyama Did About Five Things That Broke My Brain Against The Heat On Friday Night

I love seeing tweets like this because they usually do a decent job letting someone who didn't watch a game know what a player did. But it doesn't do ANY justice for a Wemby game. Because while a 23/4/4/3 stat line in 22 minutes is impressive, we need to figure out a way to describe shit like this.

I think there were at least five different moments that made me turn my head to the side like a dog that's confused. Calling for an alley oop while at the three point line, dunking a ball over a defender from outside the restricted zone, passing OVER multiple full grown NBA players, and pulling off multiple moves of a guard despite being taller than every active NBA player. 

Even with all the fancy new analytics, there is no way to succinctly sum up what Victor Wembanyama does in a game using simple numbers unless we create a new stat like Made It Look Like He's A High Schooler Playing Against Middle Schoolers On Lowered Rims. We gotta workshop the name because MILLHAHSPAMSOLR is an awful acronym. But I think we need a better way to sum up a typical Wemby game outside of traditional counting stats because no number in the universe can sum up this ridiculousness accurately.

TIMOTHY A. CLARY. Getty Images.

LMAOOOOOOOOO. I don't even know what to say about that and apparently neither does Twitter because every tweet people posted of a yoinked Wemby highlight was either "Wut", "LOL", or something similar. I'm not sure when our brains will get used to seeing this dude do the stuff he can do on a basketball court, but I imagine it'll take a few years like when we got used to Steph effortlessly drain threes from a zip code away.