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When was the last time someone took your breath away?

Valid question, I think... I'll answer first, and I am going to litter this blog with cheesecake GIFs because I am backed up with some breathtaking broads.

It may sound corny, but I distinctly remember that moment over a quarter of a century ago when I first set eyes on a cute redhead that stopped me in my tracks… This May we are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary.

(not her)

And it may smell corny, but yesterday I entered an elevator at HQ that someone had crop-dusted just seconds before I stepped on… The smell literally took my breath away, and I had to explain to the people who had gotten on after me that I wasn't the culprit.

People often call the Grand Canyon "breathtaking" but I have been there, and although the height from the cliff where we were observing made my balls hurt, my breath remained firmly in my lungs.

The reason I bring this question up is because I witnessed a close friend of mine get his breath stolen in the blink of a couple of sexy eyes this weekend.

Please click on this Tweet to witness a grown-ass man fold like a lawn chair…

Fucking Spider was absolutely SHOOK by a young woman named Liv Morgan from the WWE.

Richie Buxo. Shutterstock Images.

Truth be told, I don't follow wrestling… Had a stretch there as a kid where I wanted to be Tito Santana, but my interest had waned even before the rebranding from the WWF to the WWE.  So I had no clue who Liv Morgan was until we published the clip of her whispering "sweet nothings" into Spider's ear.

However, once that clip hit my Twitter feed, wrestling fans came out of the fucking woodwork professing their love for this young diva while simultaneously professing their jealousy of… and downright hatred for… poor old Spider.

I can't fault Spider for locking up… Liv is strikingly beautiful in person.  She reminds me a little of the porn star Jesse Jane, and that's a good thing for guys my age.

Shutterstock. Shutterstock Images.

If you're not familiar with Jesse's work, it's probably because she hung up her porn vagina in 2017, but dipped her cameltoe back into the water in 2019 when XBIZ announced that Jane had come out of retirement and shot her first interracial scene for something called Blacked.com.

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(I just clicked on that link, and now I don't feel good about myself.)

So I ask the question again… When was the last time you had your breath taken away?

Perhaps it was from a simple GIF…

Perhaps it was from a professional wrestler…

Giphy Images.

Or perhaps it was from someone that you'll eventually spend the rest of your life with…

Take a report.

-Large


This weekend, NASCAR rolls into Vegas, and Spider and I break everything down…

TAR

-L