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I Accidentally Made Francis Shit His Pants

Nothing like a genuine scare to let you know you're still alive. As you get older, it's harder to get scared. Haunted houses don't hit the same, and it becomes obvious scary movies are clearly fake. You've been callused by real world problems. Ghosts and monsters seem a lot less scary when you've had a pregnancy scare. But a good jump scare is harmless fun that gets the juices flowing. While shooting b-roll for a Lowering The Bar Halloween sketch (coming soon) with iconic Barstool producer Corey Smutledge aka the man behind Rediscovering America, I almost made Francis go into cardiac arrest. If I didn't nearly give Francis a massive heart attack, I definitely made him shit his pants a tiny bit. 

This was like a real life Maze Game on Ebaum's World from back in the day. Francis was so locked in on crafting one of his blogs with perfect word structure that he had his face 2 inches away from his computer screen, then BAM, a horrifying image of the exorcist or a bloody Japanese ghost pops up. In this case, "the Saw guy" with a horrible haunted victorian child like wig. Francis questioning reality, wondering if this was a hallucination created in his head is low key the best part. At some point every anxious person has questioned their sanity in the middle of the work place.

This wasn't the first time I've accidentally startled the fuck out of a co-worker. Awhile back I ran into Tommy Smokes walking around outside of work. Normally in this situation I'd pretend to be a stoolie, desperate to get a selfie with my favorite Barstool personality. Basically, Leo running up on Jonah Hill as he goes about his day …

Since Tommy had his headphones in, I decided to sneak up and lightly put my hand on his shoulder. Sensual. Probably not the best idea in the streets of NYC where you need to keep your head on a swivel at all times. The chances it was a coworker grabbing Tommy are infinitesimally small compared to the chances of it being a deranged homeless dude attempting to banish Smokes to another dimension for our alien overlords. 

Shoutout to Kate, the OG Queen of scaring people in the office …