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What Every Giants Fan Wants To Hear: Wink Martindale Is Prepping For The Dolphins Offense By Waking Up Every Two Hours To Cry

Now's not the time to joke Wink! Not now! We need you to wake up and start hitting people, teach the defense how to, you know, tackle. That's a pretty big problem these days. Not to mention we flat out stink. I don't want to hear jokes when we have gotten embarrassed multiple times on national TV and already have fans talking about tanking. I don't want to hear jokes when you're losing. 

I never thought I'd be mad at Wink. Dude coached his ass off last year for the defense plus he's terrifying. Don't get me wrong, Wink would kick my ass in one hit. I would say the same thing to his face but I'd be quivering mostly because I prefer not getting hit at the age of 36. That's just something I want to rule out of my life. But Wink, you can't be joking around. You can't be talking about crying and shitting yourself every two hours when prepping for the Dolphins offense. I want some of the old school attitude back. I want to hear you're screaming at the players, making them run suicides and doing the Oklahoma drill at this point. Anything to make them start tackling and actually making plays. 

And this doesn't even make sense! I say this as a father of two. Yeah babies wake up a couple times during the night but that's just to eat. Rarely did we have screaming crying. Maybe I'm lucky that my two boys enjoy sleeping. Train them right and you get to sleep too. Lean into that with the defense and show up one goddamn time this year. 

Such a disaster this year. From the offensive line to Parris Campbell reaching C.C. Brown level of get off my team to the defense to Daniel Jones and everything else. Shit show is the best way to put it. It's time to figure it out or just full on tank. Strip it all down and try again. It sucks. I don't want to rebuild because rebuilding in football is just the worst. But right now the Giants look like a JV team again.