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Zlatan Being Zlatan: Claims The Only People Who Think Scoring Goals Is Better Than Sex Are Those Who Are Awful At Doing It (Fucking)

Uhh ya think? This is just peak Zlatan. The dude is easily the best talker in all of sports. You never know what he's going to say but it's going to be something ridiculous either way. You really thought Zlatan would say scoring goals is better than sex? Of course not. I mean he makes a good point here too. You might claim goals are better if you stink at having sex. There's not a shot Zlatan stinks at having sex, look at this man: 

Marco Luzzani. Getty Images.

That man knows how to score goals, but he for sure knows how to fuck. I've never been so sure of something in my life before. You don't get to his level of personality and turn into Jim from American Pie in the bedroom. In the words of someone around these parts, not one iota! And just a reminder this is what Zlatan does on the pitch: 

This is one of the most popular questions soccer players get asked. The whole premise being there's only so many people in the world who can score certain goals. That's an elite feeling. Knowing you're 1 of an elite few to do something athletic? Yeah, of course that's awesome. The only thing that's shocking is Zlatan didn't go more in about having sex, because again, this is Zlatan: 

The gift line is easily one of the greatest quotes from an athlete ever. So there you have it. Zlatan doesn't want to hear anything about scoring goals being better than sex. Not in Zlatan's world.