Zach Johnson Talks Jordan Spieth Out of Hitting Driver, Spieth Clubs Down and Puts it in The Water

I've been angrily watching the Ryder Cup all morning. I've been in a bad mood ever since I woke up, and NBC decided they were going to cut to commercial every 5 minutes, and simply REFUSE to show groups 3 or 4, both of which were 1 point matches for a majority of the morning. You would have thought Jordan Spieth and Justin Thomas didn't exist.

But now my anger has fully shifted to Zach Johnson's big dumb face. He is a very bad coach and I don't like him. If I saw him in person, I would treat him with respect, but I would be saying very mean things in my head. 

This might be a dumb question, but why does Zach Johnson have to speak with his players at all during the course of the round? Why are the best players in the world deferring to the opinions of a golfer who is decidedly worse at golf than they are. They play their whole careers with just them and a caddie making the decisions. And they make really fucking good decisions. That's why they're the best in the world. I just don't understand why Zach Johnson would think he knows Jordan Spieth better than Jordan Spieth. And why is Jordan Spieth even listening to his opinion at all. My high school golf coach didn't even do that. That's insanity.

For the good of Team USA we need to get Zach Johnson as far away from the team as possible. You're doing too much, Zach. Just let your guys play golf. To whoever is driving his golf cart, next time he hops in, drive him in the complete opposite direction of the final group. Whatever you do, do not let him speak to Patrick Cantlay or Wyndham Clark. Don't let him speak to a single player for the rest of the tournament. For the sake of America, put him on the first plane home immediately. And make Tiger Woods the captain for the rest of eternity.