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I Can't Fathom Why The Phillies Turned Away "Wally" The Emotional Support Alligator At The Gates

Crikey! I, for one, can't believe "Wally" the emotional support(?) alligator was denied access to the public venue featuring thousands of people, children, and unpredictable drunks screaming their faces off. Hard to believe, Harry. The Hoagiemouth owner who rescued the dinosaur from the sewers obviously thought it was OK. Why? He has the reptile for 7 years and it hasn't bit anyone...yet! 

Wally does love a good chin rub, tho. Good for the poikilothermic. Probably the best to leave the gator outside the gates...but then again, we've seen animals take over MLB playoff victory runs before. Rally Monkeys, Rally Squirrels (fuck those damn St. Louis varmints), Oscar The Grouch going ham in the Astros dugout. Maybe Wally needs to come back for Wildcard and let the emotional support loose. Shit, if the Phillies face the Braves can you imagine Spencer Strider trying to pitch in front of both helper gators AND fans? 

Sold. Wally The Emotional Support Alligator needs to be a fixture in Ashburn Alley for the Red October. At the very least, he'll be the most civilized animal in the Bank by FAR throughout the entire playoffs. Humans included, of course. Can't wait.