Whoever Let Drunk Brandon Marsh Ride The Xfinity Live! Bull Should Be Thanking GOD He Walked Away Alive

MARSHY NOOOO!!!!! PLEASE GOD NOOOO!!!!! Wait...that's it? Respect the shit out of the belt toss, but the Phillies CF didn't get launched into orbit off of that PBR 2+ ton steel beast from Hades? That...just simply doesn't happen. Not at Xfinity Live!. Not with that mechanical bull. Seriously. And if you don't know what I mean then you've clearly never crossed paths with the bull/hardo(s) who operate that death steer. I've taken many a rides on that beast and it almost had me drinking from a straw for the rest of my days: 

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"Time for a shot, time for a beer, time to ride the bull." Notice the 9am timestamp. Wing Bowl deserved the honorable death. A soldier's death. But that was 7+ years ago and in somewhat shape didn't help my spine being twirled around like goddamn John Elway at the goalline. The bull even abused our sweet crazy heart Kelly Keegs. 

So, yeah, whatever moron allowed Brandon Marsh (which was easily Marsh himself) to approach and ride that beast into the sunrise is damn lucky. There would've been hell to pay if the Phillies were all of a stud less for the postseason. 

5 meaningless games vs the Pirates and #LOLMets left to finish out the season (unless of course you have the Phillies o88.5 wins, which means JUST GET ONE OUT OF FIVE PLEASE THANK YOU). Red October officially begins next Tuesday at CBP. Now buy a shirt. We've got a World Series to win, dammit. 13 more.