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A Bear Ate A Family's Lunch Right In Their Faces And Didn't Do A Goddamn Thing About It

I hate to say it but this is a toughhhhhhhhh look for humans right here. I know that the book on bears says that you should remain calm and not run away so they don't chase you. Okay, I don't know if that's what the book says, if that's a sharks thing, or I made it all up in my head. But I feel like not scaring a bear is the best way to ensure you don't become its dessert.

That being said, mankind didn't reach the top of the food chain by letting every furry four-legged creature eat off its proverbial and in this case literal plate. You could tell the bear was even confused about how everything went down.

Usually if you make a human smell your breath after you ate their lunch, it'll trigger the fight or flight response. Instead, this mom just held her kid's head like a dirty scene from a movie popped up unexpectedly then turned themselves into statues while the bear ate their entire meal then washed it down with a Coke and a smile.

Besides, aren't black bears the pussies of the bear family? You give that silly son of a bitch a good bop on the nose and he'll be running back to his mama. Now if she comes back angry because you just booped her baby, you can do whatever you want because your life is in danger. But until then, I need to see humans show a little more guts or at least pride as a species. 

To be clear this is me saying this about other humans that encounter this danger while I comfortably pick apart everything comfortably behind my keyboard because my candy ass would run away if any wild animal was eating my food be it a bear, a bobcat, or a goddamn mouse.

P.S. Shout out to whoever made that food because baby bears notoriously only like their food cooked jussssssst right. At least that's what that silly bitch Goldilocks told me. That was your dad joke of the day.