Fantasy Football Funk Town - Updated Player Wins Above Replacement Standings And The All Star Team You Could Have Picked Up Sunday Morning

Stathole9/26/2023 11:10 PM

Alright here is your Week 3 WAR updated standings of the best fantasy football players. Just an absurd week. Let's get to some takes:

Cowboys fall off the #1 rank horse

This was only a matter of time after being #1 both after Week 1 and Week 2. After playing both New York teams they finally found a real offense to go against in… the Arizona Cardinals???

SHOTS!!!

Raheem Must Start ????

Jumping from overall #9 last week the fact that this guy in the best player in the game makes me feel better about being 1-2 in the home league. If you're winning your league it's probably because you're just lucky. That's my story after three weeks and I'm sticking to it.

Devin Achane - a dude who didn't play Week 1 and scored .9 PPR points in Week 2 is now better than my "breakout" Javonte Williams

My model estimates teams who played Achane had a 96.4 percent chance of winning their week under these settings. The logic is if you started Achane and returned an average league performance from the rest of your starters and played against the average performing team in a 12-team league, this is the chance you won that game.

Who's #2 so far for a single game through three weeks? We won't have to swim far to find out. That'd be Raheem Mostert also in week three who's 38.2 points gave fantasy teams a 91.2% win chance. Imagine the sickos who played both of these guys?

Puka Nacua goes Poopoo Dadooda

It was tough Monday Night for PukAnon but let this be a buy opportunity for anyone who thinks he was just a two-week flash in the pan. The Bengals defense is for real and even so Puca made some great sliding catches to continue keeping the rapport with Stafford. Stay strong #PukAnon.

Kenneth Walker sneaky walking up the ranks

Every week has gotten better for Walker. Week 1: 6.7 points. Week 2: 17.4. Week 3: 27.6. This dude is no longer walking. He's Stair Mastering his way to the top.

Let's move on to see what team you could have assembled hung over in bed on Sunday morning five minutes before the games started. Here is the best team possible excluding the top-192 rostered players in Week 3 by ESPN leagues which we assume would be rostered in a 12-team, 16-player league. The all-star JV free agent pool team. Behold:

Makes me sick looking at it. Why keep trotting out Kyle Pitts when you can start… Pharaoh Brown. Get a running quarterback like Justin Fields, they say? How about a nice guy like Andy Dalton instead…

If that made you sick to look at knowing your team got smashed by a bunch of nobodys let's lift those spirits and show the worst-luck team of Week 3. Pretty simple rule - worst performing players started in at least 30 percent of leagues for each position with flex configured by the next worst compilation of whatever WR/RB/TE that happens to be.

Sicco viewing only.