Michael Myers Just Won't Stay Down - 'Halloween' Rights Are Currently Being Shopped By Miramax

I knew 'Halloween Ends' (promoted as the dramatic final chapter in the Michael Myers saga) wouldn't actually be the last time we saw a Halloween movie on the big screen, because no duh, but I can't believe they're ALREADY shopping the rights - not even a year removed from 'Ends'! 

I'd say the body isn't even cold yet, but to kill him in the last one, they PUT MICHAEL MYERS INTO A SCRAP METAL SHREDDER WHERE HIS BODY IS PULVERIZED AND HIS SKULL/BRAIN/ORGANS ARE CRUSHED INTO BOLIVIAN....

....SO THE "BODY" CAN'T BE COLD, BECAUSE IT'S MORE WRECKED AND OBLITERATED THAN THE COLLAR OF A FRANK THE TANK SHIRT! 

According to the video below, I think Michael Myers has 10 on-screen "deaths" over the years - 11 if you also count being briefly put down for the count in 'Halloween Kills' (which I wouldn't)....

Hell, it'd be 12 if you counted the 'Halloween II (Director's Cut)' death, but I'm being nice and taking that one outta the equation too!

I love the 'Halloween' franchise, and didn't even hate the recent David Gordon Green trilogy, either - but at what point is enough, enough? How many times can you trot Michael Myers back out there to get killed in Haddonfield before you just write an original horror story?! You don't even have to do that much differently, just create a new tall masked monster who walks slow and doesn't die! Control+F your shitty 'Halloween' script and change the names! Do SOMETHING new!

John Carpenter famously didn't want to resurrect Myers after the first 'Halloween', and attempted to turn the franchise into an anthology series with 'Halloween III: Season of the Witch' - but the movie wasn't a success so that idea never stood a chance. I think it's an awesome concept, though, ESPECIALLY for TV. 

Look at how huge 'Black Mirror' is, and combine that with the popularity of Mike Flanagan's Netflix series' ('The Haunting of Hill House', 'The Haunting of Bly Manor', 'Midnight Mass') or even a season-long anthology series like 'American Horror Story' around October - and I think you're missing out by not at least giving an episodic 'Halloween' anthology series a shot.

You could even shoehorn Michael Myers into the end of an episode and treat 'em like Darth Vader in 'Rogue One' if you really needed to….

….but he doesn't need to be the focus of the story anymore. It's been 45 years. 

Come up with some new shit and hang the painted William Shatner mask and mechanic suit up for good. Please.