Yah sure this is obviously a callback to the Captain Andrew Luck meme that morphed into its own online persona during his playing days, but I don’t care.
This is so on-brand for Andrew Luck I don't even want to make any jokes if there even are jokes to make.
Bezos' little traveling circus was in their tech stomping grounds, the Bay Area, for last night's Giants Niners game, and somebody caught wind Andrew Luck wanted to attend.
"Yah so Andrew Luck really wants to come to the game on Thursday, and possibly make an appearance on the post game show"
"That would be great! It's been years since he's made a television appearance. Football fans would love to see him and hear from him. This will be huge for ratings! How can we make this happen?"
"Well, he has one request."
"Fire away. His own suite? Travel to and from the stadium? Hotel block? You name it, we'll make it happen."
"Ha. No. Actually, couldn't be further from any of that. Since he retired from football he's pursued his true passion, cosplaying Civil War reenactments. He's a "Captain in the Union Army."
"Yah so, if we could somehow work something in where he could come in his costume, I mean "uniform", and display his depth of knowledge on the subject, I think we have a deal."
(Legit laugh out loud funny)
What's crazy about Andrew Luck is he somehow met with this sociopath for months leading up to the 2012 Draft,
And somehow, some way, Luck didn't pull an Elway and tell the Colts if they drafted him there was no way he would play football and to fist themselves. (Couldn’t say fuck, Andrew doesn’t use swear words). And possibly even more surprising, somehow, someway, Irsay, got to know him, see how he was wired, and still drafted him as the man to supplant Peyton Manning! It's not shocking because of Luck's talent level, he was a fucking stud (except against New England of course, he was 0-6 lifetime). But because I don't think there's a person alive who's more polar opposite of Jim Irsay than Andrew Luck.
Luck is such a loveable dork who just happened to be blessed with incredible height, strength, acumen for football, and a rocket arm. Not a day goes by where he's not cursing the gods for blessing him with football super powers and not letting him be born in the 1800's instead.
Bless this man.
p.s. - our Barstool Backstage cohost Kenny Carkeet (from the band AWOL Nation) tells this story all the time about Andrew Luck randomly showing up at a show of their band's when they were on tour. Luck was still playing for Indy and he's a huge alt-rock fan. He managed to get somebody in security to relay a message back to the band backstage that he was there, a huge fan, and would love to meet them. They of course said yes and had him and his friends brought back to the tour bus area. Kenny said Luck was on cloud nine getting to meet his band, knew all about them, all their songs, and the last thing he wanted to talk about was football. When they rounded up a football, Luck insisted on letting him "hold" for them all while they kicked "field goals."
p.p.s. - you know how wild it is that Andrew Luck is basically universally loved by football fans of all teams? Even Patriots fans. People forget he was under center for that deflate gate game where the Colts got their shit pushed in in Foxboro on a balmy, rainy January night. I was there. Game was over before halftime. It was over before it started. We all know what transpired after that with the Mike Kensil, Irsay, Mara, and Rooney hit squad conspiracy. But Luck had every opportunity to pile on, take shots at New England and Brady, and never did. In fact, he inadvertently made a joke that could have been misconstrued about it and made sure to walk it back.
Source- "The energy is sort of sucked out of you, you do feel deflated," Luck said when asked about the loss to the Patriots. Some of the media gathered around the quarterback started laughing, at which point Luck realized the word he had used. "Aw, shoot," he said, clearly not having meant to enter into the Deflategate discussion.
Luck was then asked for his thoughts on the Deflategate controversy, seeing as the Patriots were playing the Colts when they allegedly played with under inflated footballs. "I don't know," he said. "Things in the media tend to be blown out of proportion a little bit. It's the nature in where we are today in society. You can't take anything away from them being a heck of a team and they are a good football team."