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Great News: NFT's Aren't Worth A Goddamn Thing These Days, As They Always Should Have

JUSTIN TALLIS. Getty Images.

Yahoo Finance -- A report by dappGambl based on data provided by NFT Scan and CoinMarketCap showed that out of 73,257 NFT collections the researchers looked at, 69,795 of them, or slightly over 95%, had a market cap of zero ether.

By their estimates, almost 23 million people hold these worthless assets.

"This daunting reality should serve as a sobering check on the euphoria that has often surrounded the NFT space," the researchers said. "Amid stories of digital art pieces selling for millions and overnight success stories, it is easy to overlook the fact that the market is fraught with pitfalls and potential losses."

I'll be the first to admit that I'm extremely risk averse when it comes to money. There's a good chance that's because I'm poor and don't have a ton of money to throw around on nonsensical shit. I'd rather just waste a hundred dollars to go play a golf course on the weekend, probably $150 in bar tabs, a takeout meal, let's go ahead and get those irons re-gripped, and student loans. Clearly all of those things are necessities. I'm not going around wasting that money on crypto schemes and NFTs. 

Now if you're risk averse like myself, chances are you also also deal with an extreme amount of FOMO when it comes to certain things like the NFT market or the GameStop craze. We're sitting on the sidelines watching everybody else supposedly get filthy stinking right. You become filled with jealous rage and envy. If only you weren't so damn stingy with your coins, maybe you'd have a few extra thousand dollars to play around with. You have no idea how these things are worth so much goddamn money. It makes no sense whatsoever to you. That's the worst part about it. Part of you wants to jump in, but the other part of you knows there's no possible way a jpeg of a goofy looking gorilla can be worth that much money. 

And then it finally happens. It all comes crumbling down and 95% of the market isn't even worth a dog's shit. You were on the sidelines while everyone was getting rich, but now you get a perfect court side view to the crash. And the failure of others brings you an immense amount of joy. You know that it shouldn't. You know part of you feels dirty for taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. But that's just show business, baby. Your life long decision to be a total bitch with your money has finally paid off. Until there's the next thing.