Making The Barstool Office Run Football's Most Effective Route - The Buttonhook

The crisp fall air, running around the backyard in jeans that chafe the fuck out of your legs, calling a huddle to draw routes on the non-laces side of the football. I miss playing backyard football / Brett Favre Wrangler commercials. 

The most dominate route in backyard football is the buttonhook. Need to make a field that's already small and manageable about 6 yards more manageable? Hit that defense with the buttonhook. The route never fails, as long as the QB and receiver are on the same page. I can't say the office and I were exactly in unison. While half of my receivers didn't know even know the lingo - buttonhook, the other half couldn't anticipate the laser beam coming at them before they turned around. Sorry I don't want to turn the ball right over to the defense. That's ball. In my head, every time I let go of the ball, I was Joe Milton trying to take Spider's head off. 

Forget being able to hit a fastball from a major league pitcher, I don't even think I could catch a pass from a college quarterback. That's in ideal conditions. I'm not even thinking about sticking my doughy, uncalloused hands out for a pass rifled at me in weather below 40 degrees.

This video would have been absolutely perfect if I could have told everyone when they got to the line of scrimmage that instead of me playing QB, they'd have the most elite short yardage quarterback of all-time throwing to them. When their jaw drops expecting Tom Brady to appear, fireworks go off, and THE KING of the buttonhook, Jeff D. Lowe, comes around the corner in a varsity letter jacket like the popular jock in an 80's movie. He then confidently shoots them a look and says, Let's make some yardage more manageable. 

If you can't run a buttonhook, you can't play for me. Plain and simple.